The Great Saiyaman Trilogy
by Goblin Cat KC
Summary: yaoi; The Great Saiyaman and the Legion of Terror, Return of the Legion of Terror, and The Great Saiyaman Movie and the Two Legions of Terror; COMPLETE
1. 1

The Great Saiyaman Vs. The Legion of Terror   
by KC 

Disclaimers: Don' own nothin' of this.

Pairings: GkxV, GtxTr, GhxPi

Warnings: Sexual themes and adult language. If you can't deal, ditch.

Other Info: I kinda played around with their ages. Just go with me on it, 'kay?

~*~*~*~*~*~

His arms crossed, Vegeta hovered several hundred feet above the pink and red carnival tents and stared down at the crowd below him. No one looked up, but even if they had, his blue fighting suit matched the darkening sky. He looked at the tacky timepiece in the center of the carnival, a black and white sundial large enough to land an aircar, and read the digital display in the center. Ten to eight.

"Brats better hurry up," he muttered to himself.

A strong ki force flew up behind him, but he didn't turn around. "Namek."

"Vegeta." Piccolo stopped a few feet away and looked down at the same spot. "What are you doing here?"

"The woman is experimenting on Kakarrotto and Gohan, so I have to see the brats home." Vegeta glanced sideways at the green man. "And you?"

"Gohan asked me to make sure Goten came home."

Vegeta smirked and raised an eyebrow. "Aw, you're so cute domesticated. Does he make you wear a leash when you two--?"

"Don't push it, Saiyan." Piccolo turned as if looking at the setting sun, the rose light hiding his blush.

Beneath them, the already dense crowd grew even larger, concentrating on the yellow tent in front of the sundial. From the fighters' vantage point, they could see people pressing closer to the tent as "ooh"s and "aah"s drowned out the tin carnival music playing on the speakers. A siren went off inside, flashing red and blue lights, and the crowd cheered.

"What the hell?" Piccolo said.

A moment later the crowd parted down the middle and two teenagers walked through, each holding a stuffed animal larger than themselves. The one with black hair skipped ahead, clinging to his huge yellow ducky, and stopped at the hot dog stand. The other ran after him and together they cleaned the vendor out of every last hot dog in the stand.

"They eat as much as Goku does," Piccolo said, his eyes wide.

"Of course. They're sixteen."

"Goten's only fifteen."

"They're both at a growth spurt." Vegeta shrugged and stared at the giant zebra his son held. "Trunks," he said. "Time to go. Get up here."

Halfway through his hot dog, Trunks stopped and looked up at the sky. He narrowed his eyes, searching the skyline until he spotted first Piccolo, then Vegeta. He grinned and waved once before turning back to Goten. A moment later, they both zoomed up into the air.

"Hey dad," Trunks said, maneuvering his zebra onto his back. "Where's mom?"

"Experimenting on Kakarrotto and Gohan. Are you finished?"

Goten nodded and squeezed his ducky. "Yeah, I don't think we could carry much more."

"Or eat more," Trunks said. "I'm stuffed."

"Speak for yourself," Goten said. "I could eat a lot more cotton candy."

"You can't be serious," Trunks said. "You ate like fifteen."

Vegeta shuddered and turned towards Capsule Corps. "If you two are done, try to keep up."

When he wasn't looking anymore, Goten stuck his tongue out at him. No one saw it, though, since Trunks flew beside Vegeta and Piccolo assumed he was behind him. He sighed and followed after them, catching up enough to grab his friend's hand and squeeze once. 

"Wow," he said, looking down. "The city sure lights up at night."

"Yeah, I guess they do," Trunks said. "I didn't notice them much before. How do people get to sleep at night?"

"Hey, look," Goten pointed at one green and orange sign. "The new Saiyaman movie's coming out in a month."

Piccolo grumbled something, and Vegeta glanced at the Namek. "What's the matter? Don't you love the great Saiyaman, righter of wrongs and paragon of virtue?"

Piccolo shook his head with another grumble. "I still don't understand why the boy wears that costume and acts like that."

"Isn't it obvious?" Vegeta motioned at the demi-Saiyans. "These two get to act however they want, but Gohan's been under his mother's thumb for so long he actually thinks he's a human."

"He knows he's not human," Piccolo said.

"Intellectually, yes, but when does he ever act like even half a Saiyan? His mother has him so tamed he has to pretend he's someone else to even begin to use his Saiyan abilities." 

Goten let go of Trunks' hand and shifted his duck plush to his other side so he could see his friend's father. "But what about me? I don't act like I'm full human."

Piccolo smirked. "Of course not. You and Trunks act like nightmares."

"Hey!" they both yelled.

"It's true," Vegeta said. "You two piss off everyone with your pranks."

Trunks smirked and turned around so that he was flying on his back. "Yeah, but it's fun. It's a shame we can't pick on Gohan while he's in that dumb costume."

"We could be his super villains," Goten said as he laughed.

Vegeta and Piccolo stopped flying and hovered in the air. They exchanged a look, the same thought running through their heads, and then both of them smirked.

When he saw their faces, Trunks stopped and looked at them. "Uh oh. What're you two planning?"

"It's not a bad idea," Vegeta said. "We could force that brat to act in accordance with his instincts."

"And get him out of his mother's programming," Piccolo said. "I don't think he could handle the both of us."

"Three of us!" Goten said nearly squeezing his ducky in half. "If you two are gonna have fun, I want in."

Vegeta looked at his son. "Well, brat. You interested?"

"We're not gonna dress up in costumes, are we?" he asked.

Piccolo nodded. "We're too recognizable otherwise. We'll need masks at the least." He glanced sideways at Vegeta's hair. "And maybe more turbans."

The Saiyan prince glared. "No turbans."

Trunks smirk grew to match his father's. "Fine, but I pick my own costume."

Vegeta looked towards Capsule Corps to make sure no one was coming to see why they weren't back yet. "This is going to take some coordination. We'd better start planning."

"The video game room's always free," Trunks said. "No one'll bother us there."

All of them nodded in agreement, and the small group flew back to Capsule Corps, their ki sparking in little bursts around their flight auras in anticipation.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Four days later, Gohan whistled as he changed on top of the school roof. He reached down to his wrist to tap his special watch but remembered that the bank robbers the day before had shot it out. He'd have to do this the old way. Still, that was no hardship. Classes were done, his father was training with Vegeta and the boys, and Bulma didn't need him for any more tests for the rest of the week. He dug his helmet out of his bag and held it up, wiping the visor clear.

"It's the perfect time for a little..." he put on his helmet and struck a pose, one hand in the air and one against his chest as he knelt. "Saiya-action!"

Once all of his buttons were done right and the visor re-adjusted, he looked into his bag and the suit neatly tucked with the tie on top. The ironing press hadn't even come out. He knelt and stared at the clothes, his class books visible along the edge. He lay his hand on the shirt, pushing down the brown tie and running his fingers along the starched cloth and the high school badge, then pulled back and shut the capsule bag, stuffing it in a pocket and shoving that part of his life out of his mind.

He went to the ledge and looked down. Students milled around in groups, some running out the front doors and others curled up on the grass writing in notebooks.

"Hey, look!"

Gohan glanced to his right and spotted a bunch of girls pointing at him and waving. He waved back, and one of them fainted. Not sure if he should be flattered or concerned, Gohan dived off the roof and flew over the campus, gradually rising as he flew through the city. Half a minute later, he passed construction workers on the top rails of a new skyscraper.

Sunlight warmed the top of his costume, so he turned on to his back and flew upside down awhile. People in the glass buildings around him rushed to their windows to see. He waved and looked back down. No crime, no disasters, just a nice breeze and some curious onlookers.

__

Well, it is kind of nice, he thought. _But it's also pretty boring. I wish something interesting would happen._

"Terror Twins, Attack!"

Without giving him any time to look, two bodies slammed into his stomach at once, sending him several stories down before he caught himself and stared up. His eyes widened.

"What the hell?"

In front him was his little brother, he was sure of it, but Goten wore a purple gi with a black slash, black boots and gloves, and a black mask around his eyes. Floating beside him, Trunks had a black gi with purple boots, gloves and mask, along with his usual Capsule Corps jacket with the label covered. Both of them grinned and raised their hands, ready to fire ki blasts.

"We're the Terror Twins," Trunks yelled, making sure all the people now pressed to their office windows could hear. "And we're gonna kick your ass!"

Gohan's jaw dropped. "What the heck are you two doing?"

"What's the matter?" Goten smiled, his face a total contrast to his voice. "Afraid of getting your ass handed to you?"

"Are you nuts?" Gohan put his hands on his hips. "Do your mothers know where you are?"

That wiped the grins off the Terror Twins' faces.

"They don't, do they? Maybe I should make a phone call. I bet they'd really like to know their little boys are playing 'super villains and--yow!" He dodged to his left as a ki blast sailed past him and left a burnt streak on his sleeve. "Hey!"

Trunks lowered his hand and glared, looking exactly like his father. "Don't call us little."

"Like you can talk," Goten said, sticking out his tongue. "You're a real mama's boy anyway."

Gohan's hands clenched into fists. "I think you've been hanging out with your friend a little too much."

"Enough talk," Trunks said. "Terror Twins charge!"

Moving as one, they charged towards him, fists back ready to punch. Gohan flew backwards as fast as he could and moved up as the last second, flying over their heads and smacking his hands in the middle of their backs, shoving them down several feet. Goten and Trunks turned and fired up, nailing Gohan's chest, then flew up again and buzzed around him.

__

That wasn't as bad as it could have been, Gohan thought. His shirt wasn't even burned. He heard their laughter, and he smiled. _They're really just playing._ He launched a ki blast up at them and they dodged, cackling like real villains.

"Is that the best you can do?" Trunks demanded, shaking his fist. "I heard that the Great Saiyaman would give me--er, us a real challenge."

Goten did a loop-de-loop. "If this is worst we have to fear, taking over the world will be a snap."

Spreading his arms out and waving them around, Gohan struck a pose and tried to keep from smiling. "Not so! Evil such as yours will never triumph. I, the Great Saiyaman, will stop you!"

Half a mile away on a sky scraper, Piccolo and Vegeta watched the battle unfold. Neither looked at each other.

"What was the point of letting those two go first?" Piccolo asked.

"They'll loosen him up so he isn't so damned fixated on acting perfect." Vegeta smirked and clenched a black gloved fist. "And then we go in for the kill."

"You know if we hurt him, Chichi'll have our hides."

"Mm. He'll heal. He's Saiyan."

"Half-Saiyan."

"Fine, we'll just goad him into acting like a Saiyan and hope he doesn't fry our asses off. You like that better? Maybe you like it--"

Piccolo twitched. "Watch it, Saiyan."

The wind whipped around them for a moment, nearly blowing off Piccolo's black turban. It only ruffled Vegeta's cloak. "On the other hand, we may not get any reaction at all."

"You thought about that too?" Piccolo grumbled low in his throat. "I wonder if this is all for nothing."

"Well, let's go find out."

"I'm not saying it."

Already floating in the air, Vegeta turned and glowered at him. "What do you mean? We agreed on this."

"It's stupid."

"You came up with it!" He narrowed his eyes, already hard to see through the hood on his cape. "If you don't, I'll tell the brats to tell Chichi this was your idea."

Piccolo's growling grew louder, but he nodded one. "Fine. Bastard."

Vegeta's smirk only grew.

Side by side, they flew towards the three fighters still shooting small bolts at each other. Vegeta raised his hands together and launched a massive bolt at Gohan, who turned just as he fired. The mighty Saiyaman shrieked and raised his arms in an x-block, stopping the blast and then redirecting it towards the sky, where it exploded like a yellow firework.

"What the hell?" Gohan gasped.

"We are the Torture Twins," Piccolo said in a deep voice, flinging his white cape over one shoulder and pushing up his turban.

Gohan, the brats, and everyone in the windows stared at him, their jaws dropping at once. Even Vegeta flew a few feet away. Apparently Piccolo had misunderstood the definition of torture Vegeta and Trucks had been aiming for. Whereas the other three villains dressed in masks or dark hoods, his mask was a shiny latex that covered his entire face except his eyes and mouth, which had an open zipper on the corner. With black thigh high boots, strappy leather bands around his chest and a tiny black thong, a nasty looking whip coiled on his hip completed the outfit. "Prepare to--what?" His voice trailed off when he realized even Trunks and Goten looked startled. "What?" He bent forward a little to see if he'd done a strap up wrong.

Everyone in the Namco Bank on the fifty-ninth floor suddenly had the best view ever of a Namekian ass.

Vegeta glared at his son, who glared back. "Brat! You said you were going to tell him how to dress."

"He said he didn't need any saiyan's help and he kept saying he expected you to show up in some pink shirt." He tilted his head. "What did he mean?"

Vegeta turned and threw a ki bolt at Piccolo, who ducked too slow and found his antennae tips singed. "Bastard!" He floated back several more feet away and raised the edge of his cloak over his already masked face. "Now I'm really glad no one can see who we are. This is humiliating."

"More than a pink shirt and yellow pants?" Piccolo growled.

Still hovering in the sky, Gohan stared at the green dominatrix before him and tilted his head to the right. "Wow," he whispered. "Nice whip."

A flock of pigeons flew between them, breaking them out of their collective shock. Trunks and Goten began to power up, and Vegeta flipped his cloak over one shoulder, revealing his black spandex and usual white boots.

"Fuck the names and the stupid costume," Vegeta said to himself. In a loud voice, he pointed dramatically at Gohan. "Saiyaman! Defend yourself or be destroyed!"

When he saw Vegeta power up, Gohan raised his own ki and backed to one side so he wasn't surrounded. "I had no idea things were so boring now," Gohan said so only they could hear. "Grown men playing in costumes?"

"Like you can talk," Trunks said. "Running around and making stupid poses."

"Hey!"

Vegeta nodded. "And either the woman designed your costume or you've got just as bad taste as she does."

"I guess you'd know," Gohan said, crossing his arms.

Trunks nudged Goten. "Remember, when this is done, we gotta go back to my place and see if there're any pictures of what they're talking about."

A ki blast rocketed towards Gohan, who deflected it upward. Yellow and white light exploded in the air above them. The Terror Twins rammed Saiyaman, Trunks aiming for his chest while Goten nailed his legs. Gohan grunted as their impact forced down and to the left, heading towards rush hour traffic. Below them, cars honked and tried to drive out of their path.

Turning golden, Gohan stopped in midair, all three of them hovering a few inches from the top of a school bus. He looked over his shoulder at the crowd gathering and tried to glare through his helmet at the two demi-Saiyans. "Dammit, you two, this has got to stop. We nearly hurt these kids."

The pair looked at each other, still holding Gohan down while they spoke. 

"He's right," Goten said. "Maybe we should take this someplace else."

"If he's so worried," Trunks said, shaking his head, "then he should act like a superhero and stop us."

A flicker of light caught Gohan's attention, and he looked up between the Terror Twins at a ki blast coming straight down towards them. His eyes widened and he powered up another level, flinging Trunks and Goten into opposite brick walls and rising to meet the blast head on with an x block. It dissipated easily but his heart still pounded in his ears and the adrenaline surge made him feel cold and sick.

"You idiot," he heard Vegeta yell, "we're trying to make him act wild, not drive him into a murdering rage!"

"It hardly singed his stupid outfit, shorty." Piccolo still held his hand out, palm up, towards Gohan, as if getting ready for another burst.

"Fool! Your mask's on too tight. Can't you feel his ki going up--?" Vegeta looked at Gohan, whose whole body glowed bright yellow under his suit. The younger Saiyan's face twisted into a snarl. "Uh oh."

The crowd gathering on the street began to chant "Saiyaman, Saiyaman" over and over, pumping their fists in the air and shouting encouragement.

"Go get 'em Saiyaman!"

"Rip their heads off. You can do it!"

"Pull 'em apart like flies. Show 'em not to mess with you!"

Embedded three stories up in the brick walls of two opposite buildings, Trunks and Goten lowered their ki and silently stared at Gohan's increasing power. His growling worried both of them, and they glanced at each other long enough to nod their heads once and slip around the buildings and disappear.

To the crowd, Saiyaman seemed to vanish from sight. They all gasped and looked at each other, but a moment later the children in the school bus all pointed up. "Look, up in the sky!"

"It's Saiyaman," the crowd screamed. Several women fainted.

Piccolo backed away when Gohan appeared in front of him, glowing brighter as his power level kept going. "Gohan, wait, I didn't hurt anyone!"

"He's beyond hearing," Vegeta tried to tell him, but his voice faded in Gohan's yell.

"Trunks is right," he said, baring his teeth and flipping his cape back over his shoulder. "I'm gonna end this fight right now."

Glancing between Piccolo and Gohan, Vegeta came to a decision and dropped his ki just a little. He backed quietly from the fight until he could slip behind a skyscraper and fly out towards the city limits. Halfway there, Trunks and Goten came up and flew alongside him.

"Hey, Dad," Trunks said. "Isn't this running away from a fight? I thought we weren't supposed to do this."

Vegeta yanked his mask off and blinked a few times, a smirk slowly creeping over his face. "Brat, there's a difference between running and setting someone up. We've just done the latter, and it wouldn't work as well if we were still around. Besides, Gohan got angry. That's all we were after, remember?"

"Oh yeah."

"But who'd we set up?" Goten asked.

Coming from Satan City, Piccolo's voice carried all the way to their sensitive ears. "Now hang on, I can explain...no--aaah!"

Hovering in the sky, they turned and watched the lightshow. A blast of ki sent smoke into the air and they spotted a green dot sailing up over the city, leaving a gray trail behind it. Another dot, green and orange, flew up after it, firing another yellow burst.

"Maybe we should go back and help him," Goten said.

"Gohan won't hurt him bad," Vegeta said. "And it serves him right."

"Yeah, his costume was scary," Trunks said.

"Can we do this again?" Goten asked. "This was fun."

Vegeta's laugh would have sent a shiver down anyone spines except Trunks, who truly was his father's son in more ways than one, and Goten, who'd spent more time with Vegeta than his own father.

"Of course, brats. Don't your comic books always have the same villains in every issue?" 

"Yeah, but still..." Trunks said, crossing his arms. "I don't think Piccolo'll help us anymore."

"Who cares? We don't need him." Vegeta turned and led them back towards Capsule Corps again. "Tomorrow we'll whip Gohan into a furor again, and every day after that, until he isn't so damn human anymore."

Evil laughter ran through the sky as the three flew away from Satan City and the small blasts of ki coming from the pissed demi-Saiyan.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Birds twittered in their nests and bees buzzed flower to flower, ignoring Goku as he sat cross-legged in the middle of a grassy clearing. He breathed deep and grinned, letting his shoulders drop, and listened to the creek babbling beside him. He still didn't know why Vegeta and the boys hadn't wanted to train, but maybe the ki spikes in Satan City were the reason. 

"I hope Gohan had fun training with them," he sighed. "Still, I did miss 'Geta..."

A breeze blew over his face, bringing with it morning glories, forget-me-nots and...his nose crinkled. Scorched Namek?

"Hey, dad!"

Goku opened his eyes and waved as Gohan, dressed in his Saiyaman outfit, flew closer and landed in front of him, carrying Piccolo in his arms. "Hi Gohan. Wow, what's he wearing?"

"I have no idea," Gohan said. "It's just a bunch of leather straps and stuff."

"Oh, there are straps?" Goku leaned over and looked. "I hardly see any."

"Um, there were more," Gohan said, "but I kinda burned 'em away."

Blushing bright pink, Goku waved his hands and squinched his eyes shut. "Whoa, too much information there."

Gohan turned the same color as his father. "No, not like that." Not this time anyway, he thought. He lay Piccolo on the grass and knelt next to him. "It was a fight. Well, it was kinda like a fight. I got a little too angry and knocked him out."

"How'd he get you angry?" Goku asked.

"He fired at me when I was over a school bus."

"He what?" Goku's eyes widened and he stared at the green fighter. "He tried to kill you and a bunch of kids?"

Gohan shook his head. "Not really. The blast was pretty weak, but Trunks and Goten were holding me down at the time, and then I didn't know what Vegeta was planning and the crowd was cheering me on and...I guess I kind of over overreacted."

"They picked a fight with you in the city?" Goku frowned. "They know better than that. I thought Vegeta wouldn't ever do that again."

"It wasn't like that," his son said. "They weren't trying to hurt anyone. It was weird. They were all dressed up and talking like super villains."

"Like Majin Buu?" Goku's jaw dropped and he grabbed Piccolo's head, turning him one way or the other. "Are they possessed? I don't see any M symbols..."

"No, dad. Like the bad guys in the comics Trunks and Goten read."

Goku dropped Piccolo's head with a thud on the dirt. "Oh, I know those. Goten lets me read them sometimes."

"Uh, right. Anyway, I think they're gonna try it again sometime soon. I know the terrible duo will, and I'm sure they'll talk Vegeta into it. Or maybe it'll be the other way around. Either way, I'll need your help."

"Sure, son. You know you can count on me."

A groan signaled that Piccolo was half awake, and they both peered at him. When Piccolo opened his eyes, he blinked, wondering what the two blurry shapes were, then froze and held his breath when he saw Gohan staring at him.

"Wait, I can explain," he said, but Gohan covered his mouth with his hand.

"I know you can," Gohan said, smiling so much it made Piccolo nervous. "But first you have to tell me something."

"Um...yeah?"

"Will you give up your evil ways and join the forces of good?" Gohan felt proud that he'd said that without laughing. "Or will you persist in your dastardly deeds of darkness?"

Smirking, Piccolo titled his head so he could see Gohan out of the corner of his eye. "What happens if I don't?"

Gohan took the whip at the Namek's side. "Then we get your explanation...and you get whipped."

"And if I do?"

"Then you give us your explanation...and you get whipped later on."

Goku groaned and looked away.

"Well, if you put it that way," Piccolo grinned, "how can I say no?"

~*~*~*~*~*~

On Capsule Corps' roof, the three super villains changed their clothes, shivering slightly in the cold morning air.

"You told them we were sick?" Goten asked, adjusting his mask. "But won't they call my mom to make sure?"

Trunks shook his head as he placed his own mask over his face. "Nah, papa calls me out all the time and they never call mom. The school knows better now."

"Knows better?" Goten pulled on his gloves and watched Trunks finish his costume. "What do you mean?"

"He had a talk with the principal," Trunks said. "I don't know what happened exactly, but they found him crying under his desk later. No one calls after me now."

Finished with his own costume, Vegeta smirked as he pulled the cloak over his head. "I remember that. Been awhile since I had that much fun. Ready, brats?"

Goten grinned. "I'm ready."

"Yeah," Trunks said. "Let's go piss off Saiyaman."

As one, they rose into the air and shot off towards Satan City. When they arrived at the city limits, they flew low through the streets, buzzing cars and buses for a few minutes before strafing the Satan City mall parking lot and scaring hundreds of pigeons into mass crapping on the cars. 

"Hey, look," Goten said, pointing at the mall entrance. "It's Mr. Satan!"

Trunks and Vegeta both looked at the doors where Earth's champion stood, frozen as he saw the three hovering in the air. Mr. Satan's eyes widened and his jaw dropped, his hands twitching. Floating closer, the three super villains all grinned and stretched their hands out.

"Save us, Mr. Satan," a fat lady with thick blue eye shadow and lipstick wailed. "Save us."

"You can do it," said a ten year old boy through a mouthful of gum. "You're our Champion."

"Uh..." His Afro twitched as he looked left and right, but shoppers surrounded him, gathering around the one to save them. No place he could escape. With a deep breath, Mr. Satan set his hands on the huge gold buckle on his belt and took a step forward. "Listen up, you! We don't want any trouble. Leave now, or you'll have to suffer the consequences."

"Ooh, I'm so scared," Goten said, sticking his tongue out. "Big bad man gonna hurt me?"

"He can't even fly," Trunks said. "I wonder if he can dance." He raised his finger and zapped out short bursts like bullets into the ground at Mr. Satan's feet, making the giant man jump up and down. 

The crowd collectively screamed and scattered, sprinting to their cars and leaving their hero behind.

"I'm serious," Mr. Satan said, still dodging Trunks' ki. "You'd better stop now before I'm forced to hurt you."

Vegeta added his own ki blasts. "Or else what? You can't fly, can you? How can you possibly imagine hurting us?"

"With a bazooka!"

At the unexpected voice, everyone turned and saw Videl standing in her air car seat, a bazooka larger than herself on her shoulder. She flipped a red switch on the side, aimed at the Vegeta, and fired. As smoke poured into her air car, the missile streaked towards the Saiyan, who lowered his head so his face disappeared in shadow and extended his hand. Trunks and Goten rose higher into the sky as the missile exploded, sending flames and smoke in a broad circle.

"You okay, dad?" Videl waved the smoke out of her car and sat back down, intent on the pair she'd missed.

"Doing great," Mr. Satan said, grinning and putting his fists on his hips. "You seem to be handling this so I'll let you take care of the other two."

Before Videl could close her car again, though, they both heard low laughter coming from the remnants of the blast. The flames cleared and revealed Vegeta, wisps of smoke sliding around his unscathed cloak. He lowered his hand and laughed a little louder.

"Nice try," he said. "I am impressed. At least one of you weak humans had the balls to attack. Figures it'd be a little girl."

"What?" she yelled. "Who're you calling little?"

A pulse of ki a mile away caught his attention and he looked towards the skyscrapers. "Ah, it looks like Saiyaman's found an excuse to get out of school. Let's see if he's already pissed off." He flew across the parking lot, leaving Videl squawking in her car, and passed Mr. Satan as the champion stared at his crapped upon luxury car, the red convertible covered in bird excrement. Vegeta grinned and sent a huge burst down on the engine, charring the car and singeing Mr. Satan's afro.

"Hey, dad!" Trunks dropped down to his father's level. "Something's weird. I felt more than one ki up there, but then the power level suddenly went down again."

"He's probably planning something to stop the fight quickly," Vegeta said. "Whatever it is, we can't let it work. He has to learn that he's not a human, he's a Saiyan."

"And Saiyans aren't momma's boys," Trunks said.

"Exactly."

"Are you two coming?" Goten shouted several yards above them. "Or am I gonna have to take care of him on my own?"

"On our way," Trunks said.

"Hey, get back here!" Videl flew her car towards them, still fighting to clear the smoke out of her sight. "I'm not done with you yet."

"Well," Vegeta said. "She certainly walks around a big pair, doesn't she?"

"She's got more guts than Krillin or Yamcha, and they're stronger." Trunks fired a short blast at her engines, sending the car spiraling down. Videl jumped and landed safely on the pavement, but her car landed on Mr. Satan's convertible, squashing it flat. The Champion of the Earth sank to his knees and bawled.

"Let's go already!" Goten turned and flew towards his brother, soon flanked by his fellow villains. "Do you feel that?"

"He's not alone," Vegeta said. "His spirit's stronger this time and it's eclipsing the Namek's."

"Piccolo?" Goten squinted at the approaching golden dots and nodded. "Yup, it's him."

Between the two highest skyscrapers, Vegeta pulled slightly ahead of the teens and stopped, letting them float on either side. Gohan and Piccolo stopped several yards away, powered up to match their adversaries. The Saiyan prince tilted his head when he saw them. "Got a costume change? Did you dress out of your closet or his?"

No longer in bondage gear but rather a green and orange suit like Gohan's, Piccolo's costume matched his usual pointy shoulder wear. He growled and curled his hands into fists. "You son of a--"

Gohan lay his hand on his friend's shoulder. "Calm down. He's just trying to rile us."

"Looks like it's working," Goten said. "I thought you were on our side."

"I've seen the error of my ways," Piccolo said. "Now I get to fight with Go--Saiyaman instead of against him."

Like his father beside him, Trunks smirked and crossed his arms. "You mean now you get to fight without getting your ass handed to you."

Piccolo purpled with rage and bared his fangs. "You rotten little--"

"He took away your whip, huh?" Goten laughed and did a little flip in the air. "I guess the great Saiyaman likes giving but not receiving."

Saiyaman turned pink under his mask. "That's not true!"

"Oh?" Vegeta asked. "You like being whipped, then? And speak up." He motioned at the people watching from the surrounding buildings. "I don't think everyone can hear you."

"That's it," Gohan said, his face twisting more and more into a snarl. "No more waiting around. Now you'll see our secret weapon and newest teammate."

"New teammate?" Trunks looked at Goten. "Since when does Saiyaman need a team?"

"Since he turned into a total wimp."

Growling, Gohan flared his ki twice, signaling Goku to transmit in close. A flicker of white blurred next to him, and then they could all see Goku clearly. Dressed in green spandex, Goku wore white underwear on the outside of his pants and a ring of huge daisy petals around his face. 

For a moment, no one spoke. They heard a cough or a gasp out of the buildings, but the rustling of their cloaks and capes in the wind sounded like yells. Everyone stared with wide eyes and Goku kept his battle face on, sure that his grimace had startled them back. At first no one could tell who was snickering and they looked around, but then Vegeta lost control and doubled over. Trunks and Goten soon followed, floating on their backs with their arms around themselves. Vegeta laughed so hard he began to drift down towards the street.

"Dad, what are you wearing?" Gohan hissed.

"You said to look strong but good," Goku said, staring wide-eyed at the three. "Well, the spandex shows off my muscles, and no one would mistake a flower as bad."

Trunks gasped for breath around his laughs. "And what's your name? Sailor Daisy?"

"Maybe Superflower?" Goten said.

Slowly rising back up, Vegeta wiped a tear from his eye. "No. We'll just call him the Pansy."

Goku's jaw dropped.

"Cut it out," Gohan said, hands on his hips. "That's just mean."

"We can't help it," Trunks said between breaths. 

"Y'know, Gohan, you look just like mom," Goten said. "When she gets mad."

"No, he's half-right," Vegeta said, waving down Goten. "This is a fight, not a comedy act." He caught his breath and let the snickers die down, standing straight again. He looked back at Goku, his face circled by petals, fidgeting in his briefs.

He fell backwards laughing even harder.

"That's it," Piccolo yelled. "I'm starting this right now!" He ended his words on a yell and fired a blast at Trunks. 

"I'll take him," Trunks said, blocking the attack and shunting it towards the sky. "Goten, you get Gohan."

"No problem." Goten charged his sibling, firing rapid shots to back him up.

Scratching the back of his head for awhile, Goku stared at Vegeta as he slowly stopped laughing a second time. The two Saiyans stared at each other, one smiling as usual and the other smirking under his hood. Vegeta tilted his head again. "Why the hell did you choose petals?"

Goku's eyes widened and he blushed. "I remember someone saying how soft my lips are." He smiled when Vegeta glanced away. "I wish you weren't wearing that cloak or the mask...or the spandex."

"And I wish you weren't wearing that ridiculous costume." Vegeta backed up and let his power level drop. "I refuse to fight you in that stupid suit."

"Take off your cape, then." Goku ducked the ki blast aimed at his head and lost the top petals. The rest of the petals slipped off and floated down until it came between Piccolo and Trunks, whose clashing ki incinerated it. "Geez, Vegeta, I was just joking," Goku said. "Don't be so serious. I mean, it's not like any of us are fighting for real."

A bit of ki sparkled under Vegeta's hood as his eyes flashed, and Goku wondered if he'd just given the prince an idea. A moment later, a rapid fire gallit gun attack forced him up into the sky with the sun behind him. With the sun in his eyes, Vegeta squinted, trying to find Goku. Gohan and Goten battled past him, cooking pigeons that flew too close and zapping each other's hair. He felt a ki materialize behind him and he leaned forward as if about to perform a summersault, then mule-kicked Goku's jaw.

"Quit trying to transmit behind me," Vegeta said, sweeping Goku's legs out from under him, then clasping his hands together and slamming Goku's stomach. The younger Saiyan grunted as he plummeted several stories before stopping his fall. As he caught his breath, Vegeta appeared next to him and kicked him skyward.

Goku passed between Trunks and Piccolo, nearly knocking the purple-haired boy over and grazing the Namek's antennae. 

"Ow!" Piccolo massaged his bruised antennae, his eyes watering as the sensitive parts throbbed. Distracted by the pain, he didn't see Trunks' next attack and caught the ki blast in his stomach, tossed down until he struck a horizontal flagpole on the side of a skyscraper. He lay folded over for a moment, letting the pain in his antennae die down, then lifted himself up again.

"What's the matter?" Trunks asked as he flew down to meet him. "That was just a love tap. I'm sure the Great Saiyaman gives you love taps all the time."

"Will you quit it with the insinuations! I'm not--"

"Oh please." Trunks crossed his arms. "Everyone knows. I don't know why you keep trying to hide it."

A purple hue colored Piccolo's cheeks. "But...I'm not..."

"It's not like there's anything to be ashamed of," Trunks said. "Maybe our high ki levels just make us that way."

Piccolo's eyes bugged. "You mean, you and Goten--"

Trunks smirked and glanced at Goten, watching him zip around Gohan's shots. The Great Saiyaman flew in close, grabbing at the evil Terror Twin, but his hands closed on empty air. Goten went over his head and delivered a swift kick to his brother's butt.

"You're getting slow," he said. "You don't train enough."

"I don't train with a former psychopath, you mean." Gohan ducked forward and caught Goten's chin with the back of his boot. "Your style's too cocky."

"And yours is weak. Why don't you ever come and train with us?" Goten stopped punching and stared at his sibling. "You're supposed to be really strong, but you never fight except in that stupid costume. How come?"

"I do a lot of good in this 'stupid costume'," Gohan snapped, firing another blast that missed. "I've saved a lot of people. I don't need to train with--" he stopped.

Goten shook his head as Gohan cut himself off. "What? Don't need to train with me or dad, or Trunks an' his dad? Is that it?"

"Goten, I didn't mean--"

"Yeah you did. You don't wanna train with us. You just wanna screw Piccolo's brains out."

"That's not fair!"

"It's true." Goten dragged his hand across his eyes, and Gohan realized his little brother was trying not to cry. "You're not there, Dad's hardly there...Vegeta and Trunks let me train with them. I don't care what you say about him. Vegeta can't be bad."

"You don't know him like everyone else," Gohan said. "Yeah, he's changed a little, but he was a real monster before."

Goten didn't say anything for a moment, the sounds of everyone else's ki blasts echoing off the buildings around them filling the silence. Gohan chewed his lower lip and wondered if he'd pissed his brother off too much.

"Then maybe I should be with the other monsters," he whispered.

Gohan blinked in surprise. "What?"

"That's what mama called me. A monster. She saw my tail and yelled that I was a monster." Goten wiped his eyes again and glared at his brother. "Vegeta doesn't call me that. Trunks is my friend. They talk to me like I'm one of them, not some little kid or monster."

"Goten...I didn't know..."

"You never tried." Goten turned his back to his brother. "Congratulations, Saiyaman. You win."

As he watched his brother fly away, Gohan felt like he'd been losing for a long time.

Pressed against the glass wall of the tallest skyscraper, Piccolo heard the frantic yells and howls from the humans inside, along with a few catcalls from the people who remembered his previous outfit. He turned his head to one side, expecting Trunks' next punch, and made a mental note to become evil again just long enough to smack the catcallers. 

The punch he thought was coming didn't connect, though, and he looked back. Trunks' fist hovered inches from his face and the demi-Saiyan stared up at something Piccolo couldn't see. Piccolo pulled his own hand back, ready for a sneak attack, but Trunks backed up and lowered his hand. 

"You win, uh...whatever your name is. Later!" He blurred out of sight, and when Piccolo looked around, he spotted the teen flying after Goten.

"Hm. If Trunks is gone, and Goten's gone," he looked at Gohan to make sure he was still there. He forgot about fighting when he felt his ki, already sad and spiraling down into depression. Deciding to let Goku finish off Vegeta, he flew towards Gohan and lay his hand on his shoulder. "Kid, you all right?"

Without looking at him, Gohan shook his head. "No, Piccolo. I'm not." 

Piccolo reached down and grabbed his hand. "Come on, the brats took off, and Goku's handling Vegeta. Let's get out of here before the cops show."

Gohan nodded and let Piccolo lead, flying just behind him at his shoulder.

On the other side of town, Goku and Vegeta dispensed with the play fighting and threw real punches, never noticing that they'd left the main battlefield. For the twelfth time Goku tried to grab Vegeta's cloak, burning at the edges from a ki blast, but the smaller Saiyan dodged his hands and launched another blast in his face. Goku growled as he slapped the smoke from his eyes.

"This isn't fair," he said between punches. "We can't power up here, so I'm at a disadvantage."

"Whine whine whine," Vegeta said between kicks. "I fight you even though your ki's...stronger," he bit the word out. "You're just pissed I'll always be better skilled than you."

Sirens rushed after them as dozens of police cars swarmed through the streets. Cops and armed civilians fired at them, missing every shot but hitting the buildings around them.

"Vegeta, we've gotta fight somewhere else. People could get hurt if we keep this up."

"Hmph. I think I prefer you stuck at your lowest level."

Goku backed away, dodging a sudden sweep kick, and rocketed up over the city. "Then catch me!"

His smirk turning into a grin, Vegeta followed after him, hands extended and firing. Without any warning, Goku turned and dived back at him, transforming and taking the hits as he dropped. Vegeta froze for a second, startled by the move, and Goku grabbed his friend's hand before he could dodge. He put his fingers to his forehead and concentrated, hearing Vegeta's enraged yell as they transmitted from Satan City to their usual sparring grounds in the desert.

"Dammit, Kakarrot, I hate that technique!" He snapped to Super Saiyan level two and fired at Goku. "What's the matter? Can't handle a fair fight?"

"Not at all." Goku matched his level and blocked the shots. "I just wanted to take this fight to a different level."

Vegeta landed on a ledge and watched him approach. "Well, at least I know you can't beat me without resorting to Super Saiyan levels."

"Not that kind of level," Goku said with a grin. He ripped off the white underwear and then the top half of his green spandex.

As he landed, Vegeta took off again, intent on putting as much distance between them as possible. "Kakarrot, you have a sick one track mind!" Goku's ki disappeared, and he turned around to see where he'd gone. Instead he slammed back against a rock solid body. Before he could move, Goku dragged him down out of the air and slammed him into the ground. 

When Vegeta opened his eyes again, he found himself face down in the hot dirt with Goku on top of him, pinning his hands down near his head. He felt Goku's warm breath on his neck and jerked underneath him, but Goku only pressed him harder. "Get off of me."

"I guess I don't have to ask if you'll stay still." He let go of Vegeta's right hand but leaned his elbow on it, holding it still while he slipped his hand under Vegeta's mask and gently tugged it off. He nuzzled his prisoner's cheek and throat, nudging the cloak out of the way.

"No, stop it," Vegeta growled, thrashing under him. "Don't you dare!"

"Uh-uh, you get to be on top too much," Goku said. He kissed the soft skin at the base of Vegeta's throat and bit into the hard muscle, releasing Vegeta's hands once he had a secure grip.

Groaning as Goku's hands roamed along his sides, Vegeta tried to push himself up only to feel the teeth in his throat tighten. Unable to move more than a few inches, he dug his fingers into the ground and squeezed his eyes shut. 

A strong breeze told him all of his clothes were gone, and he heard Goku tossing their clothes aside. "Kakarrot--" He winced as Goku bit harder but kept going. "Let go. I won't run."

Goku pulled back and licked the remaining blood away. "Promise?"

"Yes. And for God's sake, sit up a little. You're too damned heavy."

"Oh, sorry." He shifted his weight off of Vegeta's back and lay beside him, keeping one arm around his shoulders just in case he broke his promise. "You look better without the mask."

"And you look better without the petals."

"Vegeta, why were you and the boys dressed like super villains? I mean, you even got Piccolo to join in."

"It was half his idea. We were just sick of Gohan acting like a weakling." He sighed as Goku's hand started rubbing his back. "We wanted to piss him off, make him remember what he is."

"In a crowded city?"

"No one got hurt." He glared at Goku. "Though it would've been faster otherwise."

"I'm glad you didn't." Goku raised Vegeta's hand to his lips and kissed his palm. "I'm glad you held yourself back. You and the kids. I'm surprised you could keep them under control."

"They know better than to screw with me."

"Still, that was kind of fun. Kinda deserves a reward."

Vegeta smiled, narrowing his eyes, and turned on his back, allowing Goku to climb over him. "Just no more biting."

"I promise."

~*~*~*~*~*~

Trunks followed Goten out of Satan City and landed next to him on the Capsule Corps roof. Neither of them spoke, but as they sat down on the edge, Trunks put his arm around his friend's shoulders and let him cry quietly. He didn't ask any questions since he wasn't sure what to ask. After a few minutes Goten stopped, but he didn't move away. The sun gradually set on the horizon, stars shimmering in the violet sky. City street lights came on as the sky scrapers began to glow. One large billboard glowed neon green and orange, advertising the next Saiyaman movie.

As the night air cooled, Trunks shrugged off his jacket and put it over Goten. "You better?"

"Yeah," he said, putting his arms around him. "Trunks?"

"Yeah?"

"You don't think I'm a monster, do you?"

"No. You're not a monster." Trunks smiled and squeezed him. "Wanna sleep out here tonight?"

"Really?" Goten looked at the cloudless sky and nodded. "That'd be great. We haven't done that in awhile."

Gently pushing Goten up, Trunks eased their bodies apart. "I'll go get a blanket. Don't go anywhere."

While Trunks disappeared over the roof, Goten lay back and stared at the stars. A moment later, he felt Trunks lay down beside him and stretch the blanket over their bodies. He snuggled closer, laying his head on his shoulder, and listened as Trunks pointed out the constellations.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Gohan flew out of Satan city for miles, ignoring how far he had traveled and how fast, not noticing that Piccolo was straining to keep up until he landed in the middle of a forest and heard his mentor breathing hard next to him. "Where are we?" he asked, looking around. "I didn't think I'd gone so far."

"You had your mind on something else," Piccolo said. "What's wrong?"

"Something Goten told me." He sat down against a tree and stared at the silver clouds racing across the stars. "Do you think I don't act right?"

"You mean playing at superhero?"

"Actually, I thought I was doing that right." Gohan lowered his head. "I guess maybe I'm not."

Piccolo sat down beside him. "What did Goten say?"

"A lot of things. That I only fight when I'm Saiyaman. That I won't train with him. That I'm never around." 

"Did he mean it?"

"Yeah. He...Piccolo, he said mom called him a monster. When she saw his tail she yelled and called him a monster." He pulled his knees up to his chest and hid his face. "No wonder he spends so much time with Trunks and Vegeta. They're the only ones who'll train with him."

"Or anything else."

"It's weird. Dad' s great but he was gone for so long. Vegeta's always been here. Trunks always had his father."

"A father who beats him up."

"I think that's the only way they train. Dad really doesn't know how to train us, I think." He raised his head and leaned against his mentor's shoulder. "Maybe he's too easy on us. I mean, he demands our best, but still..."

"You mean there's no edge. You know he'll stop before he hurts you."

Gohan shook his head. "No, not that. He's satisfied with our best. I think that's why Trunks is stronger than Goten. Vegeta pushes him for more than his best. And maybe that's why Goten's stronger than I was at his age."

"You're kidding, right?" A breeze toppled his turban off his head and onto his lap.

"No, Piccolo. He's stronger. If Cell came back somehow, Goten wouldn't hesitate to fight. Hell, he'd probably enjoy it. Me?" He kicked a rock over the ledge. "I had to be pushed into it."

"You didn't enjoy the fight?"

"Of course not," Gohan said. "Everyone was counting on me, and--"

"Quit thinking like that," Piccolo said, smacking Gohan's head. "You're not the only one who's felt that pressure. Trunks and Goten knew what was at stake when they fought Buu, and they still wanted to fight."

"Piccolo--"

"No. I want a straight answer. You have to be honest, at least to yourself. Do you like fighting? Hurting someone and being hurt, feeling your heart race, knowing the next punch could be your last? Covered in your enemy's blood?"

"But that's wrong!" Gohan said, pushing away. "Fighting like that, it's wrong. Barbaric. No one should enjoy it."

"Is that you or your mother speaking?"

They stared at each other for a moment.

"I..." Gohan whispered. "I sound just like her, don't I?"

"Mm, not quite. Sounds like you're missing her backbone." He put his arm around Gohan and tugged him close. "Maybe you shouldn't be so worried about acting human and just act like yourself."

"But mom would be so angry and disappointed, and I really like teaching..."

"Don't give up teaching, then. But don't give up on the other parts of you just because of your mother. You love the fight, or else you wouldn't have become Saiyaman."

"Yeah." Gohan closed his eyes and breathed deep. "I looked forward to that everyday, when I could stop being Son Gohan, total nerd and momma's boy, and become a great superhero."

"Have you tried combining the two, so that Son Gohan, total nerd, is the great superhero?"

"No. But it's a good idea."

"Just don't get rid of the glasses."

"Huh?"

"Your glasses, keep 'em." Piccolo smirked and ran one finger down Gohan's nose. "It's fun taking them off you."

"You know, for someone who says he's asexual..." Pouncing on Piccolo, he pushed him onto the grass and held him there, leaning over him with his hands on Piccolo's shoulders. "You'd better remember who's the stronger one here."

"Physically, maybe."

"You know, I think I still have that whip."

~*~*~*~*~*~

Birds chirping and machines humming roused Vegeta, making him open his eyes and scowl at the sunlight streaming through the window. He burrowed his head under the blankets, almost disappearing under them and the Saiyan asleep next to him. After a few moments, he blinked and looked up again. Bed? Window? He sighed and sat up.

"Stupid transmission," he said, not caring if he woke Goku. He grabbed a black training suit out of his dresser and headed for the shower.

Still fast asleep, Goku turned and patted the mattress, frowning when he didn't find another warm body. He woke up alone with the covers kicked down to his ankles and the air conditioner going full blast. 

__

Why does Bulma keep the temperature so low? he thought. He heard the shower going full blast and grinned. Knowing Vegeta, the water would be hot and the bathroom all steamy. He put his fingers to his forehead and concentrated.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Cold morning air coursed over Trunks and Goten, waking them up at once. They both sat up and winced at the bright sunlight, enough to blind them for a moment. While Goten yawned and stretched, Trunks rolled the blanket up and tucked it under his arm. "Coming? We'd better get down before anyone notices two super villains on Capsule Corps."

Goten nodded and crawled after Trunks to the edge of the roof, pitching forward and flying through Trunks' bedroom window. "I hope mom doesn't get angry that I stayed out all night," he said, sitting on the bed.

"She'll probably think you stayed over." He lay his hand on Goten's shoulder, making him look up. "I'll call and tell her we stayed up late studying and forgot to call."

"Okay. You lie better than I do."

"Got that right," Trunks said as he pushed the blanket in his linen closet filled with other rolled and stuffed blankets. "You always look guilty when you lie, and you always think up really weird excuses that no one'd believe."

"I do not. I have good excuses, it's just no one ever believes them."

"Good excuses?" Trunks sat down and pulled his hair into a ponytail. "Remember that pillow fight we had where we tore all the feathers out?"

"Yeah?"

"Remember what you told papa when he came in?"

"I said a chicken flew in and exploded." Goten stuck out his tongue. "Well, it could have happened."

"We were lucky papa just laughed and went away. If mom had found us before we cleaned up, we'd of been in deep shit."

Goten opened his mouth to say something, but his voice drowned in the sudden roar downstairs.

"Kakarrot, get out--I don't care if you're cold, you walking brick wall, get out of the way...put me down!"

"What the hell?" Goten asked.

"Sounds like the Pansy caught a Torture Twin," Trunks said, not bothering to hide his snickers.

"Ewww," Goten said, sticking out his tongue again. "There's something I don't need to imagine."

"I agree. Get changed," Trunks said. "You can't hear the shower from the kitchen."

"Woohoo, food." Goten went to the trunk on the far wall and dug through the clothes he kept over. "Remember, you gotta call my mom."

"I remember." As soon they looked like respectable demi-Saiyans, each in their own training gi, they ran down the stairs, Goten taking the banister and beating Trunks to the breakfast Mrs. Briefs and her robots had spread on the table. Trunks grabbed the phone with a plate and sat down, dialing the Son residence. "Hello, it's me, Trunks...yes, he's here. Sorry we didn't call, but we were up so late studying we fell asleep on our books...math, as usual. Goten's having trouble with simplifying radicals...okay, we'll see you later. What? Oh, yeah, I think I saw Papa and Goku sparring yesterday. I guess he didn't wanna wake you up. Okay, take care. Bye." He hung the phone up. "See, no problem."

"I am not having trouble in math," Goten said between bites. "Mom's gonna think I'm retarded if you keep saying that."

"Hey, you didn't wanna talk to her."

A few minutes later, Vegeta walked in with Goku following close behind, a bruise on his right eye slowly going down. They sat down opposite their sons and started on the other half of breakfast.

"Good to see you brats left us something," Vegeta said. 

"Looks like you gave Goku something," Trunks said.

"It's worse than it looks," Goku said. "See, it's already going down."

"Hmph. That'll teach you to sneak up behind me."

"It's just instant transmission," Goku said between bites. "I thought you'd be used to it by now."

"And I thought you'd be discreet with it by now, not popping in on people at the worst moments."

"That wasn't a bad moment. I liked it."

Trunks and Goten groaned and squinched their eyes shut. "Ewww!"

"Shut up, brats."

"Oh, boys..."

They all turned around to see Bulma walk inside, her arms crossed as she did a very good imitation of Vegeta. "What's this I hear on TV about super villains attacking the Great Saiyaman?"

Three of them became fascinated with their plates. Vegeta stood up and faced her. "No one was hurt, woman, so I don't see why you should get all pissy as usual."

Goku and Goten gasped. Trunks went back to eating.

"Pissy? You're the one talking the boys into acting like bad guys! That's all the Earth needs, three of you." She jammed a finger at his chest and wished she hadn't as it started to throb. "And how the hell did you talk Piccolo into doing it? That mask of his..."

"The whole thing was partially his idea. And he's the one that came up with his stupid costume." He smirked and leaned against Goku's chair. "Although I thought for sure you'd designed that horrible thing, knowing your lack of taste."

"Oooh..." Bulma nearly slapped him but remembered how hard his skin felt. "And knowing your lack of intelligence...don't you think people are gonna make the leap that you guys are the only ones capable of fighting like that?"

"How?" he asked, his familiar smirk widening a little. "We didn't transform, no one saw our faces, we never said anything loud enough for anyone to hear--"

"Except things like 'Prepare to die, Saiyaman," Trunks said.

"--and no one would expect Kakarrot to dress up like a pansy."

Goku blushed bright red.

"Piccolo--" she tried.

"--is not at Capsule Corps nor anywhere near humans. So what is the problem again?"

Silence. Ignoring the wide-eyed looks the three at the table gave her, Bulma tapped her foot, trying to think of something. She growled something under her breath. "Damn. Well, you better get rid of any reporters that figure it out."

"There won't be any."

She turned to leave, then whirled back again, startling everyone at the table and making Vegeta back up a step. "Before I go, was that you and Trunks and Goten who humiliated Mr. Satan and his daughter?"

"Yes, and he'll probably get another visit sometime soon," Vegeta said. "The bastard deserves anything he gets."

"Wait a sec," Goku said, resting his hand on his lover's arm. "You attacked Mr. Satan?"

"No, Trunks did," he said. "I just blew up their cars."

"It was cool," Goten said. "Just like in a western."

"Yeah, and he kept threatening us," Trunks said with a broad grin, "and saying he was gonna do stuff, but Videl only fired a bazooka at dad before her car crashed on Mr. Satan's."

"I'm starting to see what you mean by a bad influence," Mrs. Briefs said. "I'm surprised they don't get into fights at school."

Trunks and Goten exchanged a look and smiled.

"Well, any that we hear about," Vegeta said. "Are you three finished? We woke up late, so we have to catch up on the day's training."

"I'm done," Trunks and Goten said at once, jumping from their chairs and running outside. 

Staring at the food on the table for a moment, Goku sighed and wolfed down what was left on his plate. He followed Vegeta out and then bumped into him, nearly sending the prince onto their sons in front of him. Acting on instinct, he grabbed Vegeta and pulled him up straight, then looked up at what had surprised all of them. "Gohan?"

Standing on the ground in front of them, Gohan and Piccolo were dressed in the usual purple training outfits and trying not to notice the looks a few of the workers gave them from the labs on the side.

"Gohan?" Goten whispered.

"Yeah," he said. He looked at Vegeta, who'd just smacked Kakarrot's hands off and missed giving him another black eye. "Is it all right if we train with you guys?"

"That'd be great," Goku said before anyone else could. "It's been a long time since we trained together."

"But we're not going easy on him, right?" Piccolo nudged Gohan forward. "He needs to get his edge back."

"No, we won't go easy on you," Trunks said.

Piccolo grinned to show off his fangs. "Great. That's just what we want, right?"

"Yeah," Gohan said. "Right."

"Perfect," Vegeta said, crossing his arms. "Then our first training exercise will be a dogpile on the Namek."

"What?" Piccolo looked from Vegeta to the boys and Goku, then back at Gohan, who now wore the same evil look the Saiyan prince did. "Uh, guys..."

"Get him!" the boys yelled as they lunged. 

Piccolo soared into the air, reaching a hundred feet before someone grabbed his waist from behind.

"Let me go!"

"You're the one who wants me to get my edge back," Gohan said. "Don't complain about it now."

"Ewww," Trunks said as he flew closer. "No one wants to see you guys screw."

"We're not--" Piccolo tried to say, but he found himself tipped upside down and falling towards the ground. 

When the dust rose from the impact site and Trunks and Goten disappeared into the dust cloud, Goku glanced down at Vegeta, who hadn't moved to join the fight. 

"Um, aren't you gonna fight with them?"

"I said dogpile," Vegeta said. "Not how many. They seem to have things in order for awhile, and I have something else I want to take care of right now." He put his hand in Goku's. "Take us back to the bedroom."

While the four in front of them wrestled and yelled, Goku transmitted himself and Vegeta out. 

End


	2. 2

****

Return of The Legion of Terror

Disclaimers: Don' own nothin' of this.

Pairings: GkxV, GtxTr, GhxPi

Warnings: Sexual themes and adult language. If you can't deal, ditch. BTW, I've been called a nasty sick perverted freak whose stories are stupid, gay (well duh) and not worth reading. And yet look, I've written another yaoi fanfic with lots of homosexuality and violence! So obviously flames don't work on me. Of course, I can always use more stuff to ridicule on my website...fools. I have requests for sequels, so obviously I must be half-decent. (And half-dirty!)

One other thing. I started out writing a comedy and it suddenly turned more angsty than humorous. It's hard to steer the characters in one direction when they're shouting at each other.

Other Info: I kinda played around with their ages. Just go with me on it, 'kay?

~*~*~*~*~*~

The fun house walls muffled the tinny music outside, leaving only the sound of the air conditioner's cold blasts rushing through the dark hallways. Black lights made the paint on the walls glow, so that the entire hallway shone with green skeletons and purple bats, along with a few reddish pink swirls that tried to look like blood but looked more like squashed roses.

Wooden planks creaked under his boots as Vegeta wandered through the hall, cursing Kakarrot, Kakarrot's brats, his brat, the Namek, the woman, and anyone else he could think of for making him come to the stupid human carnival.

"It's the last day," he muttered to himself in a perfect mimic of Goku's voice. "It'll be fun. There'll be food. There's a special show to close it off." He kicked a soda can and listened to it crumple against the wall. "Damn fools..."

Pausing for a moment, he raised one boot and stared at it, heavy and black with buckles instead of laces. "And what the hell's wrong with my training suit? I hate human clothes." 

Finished ranting, he walked down the hallway until he couldn't stand the creaking floorboards and floated a few inches above the ground, flying around the next corridor. To his growing disgust, he found that the black lights also made the Capsule Corps patch and strings on his jacket light up blue, along with the edges of his jeans pockets.

So caught up in his glowing clothes, he didn't notice Piccolo until they bumped into each other. They both backed up a few feet and dropped into fighting stances, growling and standing straight when they realized who the other was.

"Watch where you're going, Saiyan," Piccolo said, hands still curled into fists.

"You blend with the green skeletons." Vegeta crossed his arms and looked away. "What's your excuse?"

"You're right. I should've noticed an oversized firefly in this place."

"Watch it, Namek."

"You seen Gohan?" Piccolo asked, ignoring the threat for now. "He said he was coming in here."

"I passed him on the second floor chasing the brats. If he hasn't thrown them through a wall yet."

"Shit." Piccolo looked over his shoulder. "I just came from upstairs. I don't think I can find the steps again."

The tip of Vegeta's hair swept by the Namek's throat as the prince floated down the hall. After a few steps he heard Piccolo walking beside him, but he said nothing.

Wood suddenly crashed around him, and he turned just in time to see Piccolo's turban spin in the air for a few seconds before falling down to where Piccolo dangled halfway through a hole in the floor. Only his outstretched arms kept him from falling all the way.

"Dammit, I'm stuck," he said, twisting one way and trying to push himself up.

"I guess there are advantages to flying through a funhouse," Vegeta said through his laughter.

__

I can't believe this, Piccolo thought, his face turning purple. "I won't bother asking for help, you'll just blast the hole wider."

"I wouldn't do that,"Vegeta said. "Gohan would be pissed if I dared touch your hole."

"You rotten little son of a bitch!" Piccolo squirmed in his tight trap and strained his muscles, craning his neck as if that would help. "Quit it with the insinuations!" He threw a punch but only managed to sink a few more inches.

Still hovering a few inches, Vegeta dodged the punch and laughed louder. "Oh, the urge to kick the shit out of you is almost overwhelming."

"I could say the same." Piccolo finally gave up and broke through the boards, disappearing beneath the floor before flying up again. "Damn Gohan..."

"Perhaps he'll suffer the whip tonight, hm?"Vegeta asked. He dodged the next punch and flew back several feet. "Now now, what would the Great Saiyaman say if you destroyed more of this human freak show?"

His entire body tense and his ki glowing, Piccolo simply clenched his hands into fists and strode past the prince, who watched him walk away for the few seconds before the Namek found another weak patch in the floor. This time only his foot went in, but the dip made him stumble and fall.

"Maybe you'd be better off flying," Vegeta said with a smirk, floating past him.

"Gohan'll kill us if we're seen flying." Piccolo stood up and jerked his foot out, then dug around for his shoe. "But with the way you're glowing, they'll just think you're part of the show."

"And they wouldn't care about a seven-foot tall green alien?" Vegeta said. "You fit in here more than I do."

Piccolo gave up looking for his shoe and created a new one. Wordlessly he rose a few inches into the air straight into the glowing blue spider webs on the ceiling. Hissing as Vegeta floated backwards in a laughing fit, he scraped the webs off his antennae and continued down the hall.

"Trunks, cut it out!"

"I'm not doing it, he is!"

"Dammit, both of you are doing it."

Rounding the corner, Piccolo and Vegeta found Trunks, Goten and Gohan all tangled up and caught in the fun house's rolling tunnel. The three wore regular clothes, not their training outfits, but piled on top of each other like that neither Piccolo nor Vegeta could tell where Trunks' jacket started and Gohan's jeans ended. Piccolo tried to think of something to say, but of course the prince beat him to it.

"Trunks, Goten, quit it. You're making the Namek jealous."

Three pairs of eyes focused on Vegeta, or tried to anyway.

The Namek didn't waste time with words but swung at Vegeta, who blurred out of sight and reappeared behind him. With a well-placed push, Piccolo went sprawling into the pile.

"Piccolo, you're heavy," Goten said.

"Papa, I can't stop," Trunks said. "I'd fly, but I can't tell which way is up."

As the pile of four of the strongest fighters in the universe cart wheeled, Vegeta crossed his arms and watched them go round and round...

...until someone bumped into him from behind and he fell between Goten and Piccolo.

"What the fuck?" 

"Get off me, Saiyan!"

"Goten, you're squishing me--"

"*gack*"

"Vegeta, those boots're heavy!"

"Who the hell pushed me? I swear, when I get up--" Vegeta fell on his front and tried to push himself up, but Gohan, Piccolo and Trunks fell on top of him. Goten landed on the pile just in time to topple off and hit the floor as the tunnel rolled, four fighters falling on him. The indignity not to be borne, Vegeta launched into what would have been an anthem of swearing. "Goddamn son of a fucking bitch li--"

"Hi guys," Goku said. "Sorry I bumped you, 'Geta."

The five fighters paused for a moment before the tunnel tossed them again.

"Kakarrot," Vegeta said as Piccolo rolled over him. "Figures."

Goku scratched the back of his head as he watched them. "What are you guys doing?"

"Dad, help us!" Gohan yelled, trying to stretch one arm towards his father. "We're stuck."

Hands and arms swirled past Goku, who couldn't tell one from the other, save for Piccolo's. He grasped the first one he could and yanked out Trunks, who sat against the wall and caught his breath. Next came Vegeta, who dropped down to the floor and swept Goku's feet out from under him. He watched Goku land on his back and lay dazed for a moment.

"Ow..."

"Geez, papa, you didn't have to drop him like that," Trunks said, standing up again. He helped Goten out of the tunnel. "You okay?"

"As soon as you stop spinning." Goten leaned against Trunks, settling on his shoulder and sighing as he hugged him back. "Let's never do that again."

"Yeah, that was a bad prank." Trunks looked over Goten at Gohan. "Sorry for jumping ya, Gohan."

"Sorry? You're never sorry, you--" Gohan tried to crawl out, but his legs tangled in Piccolo's cape and they both flopped on each other.

"Don't apologize," Vegeta told his son, ignoring Goku as he stood up. "They probably like it."

Growling louder, Piccolo narrowed his eyes. "You rotten little--"

Gohan landed on top of him, his legs straddling his green chest.

"Woo hoo," Trunks yelled, pumping one hand in the air. "Ride 'em cowboy!"

"Trunks, cut that out--er, Piccolo, watch your hands--dad, help us!"

"Ewww," Goten said. "An incestuous threesome."

"What?!"

"Hands off my mate," Vegeta said, fisting one hand in Goku's hair.

"Ow!"

Finally Gohan and Piccolo rolled out of the tunnel and onto the floor, this time Piccolo on top of Gohan with their noses an inch apart. For a moment, they forget everyone around them and smiled, touching their mouths together. Gohan reached up and stroked Piccolo's antennas, while the Namek slid one hand down Gohan's ribs, along his waist and hips, down to his--

"Um, Gohan?" Goku tried to hide behind Vegeta so he couldn't see his son making out with Piccolo. "Remember where you are?"

While Gohan and Piccolo blushed bright pink and purple, Vegeta tugged Goku down the hall, careful to float through the tunnel this time. More glowing ghosts and spiders appeared, along with a set of two hallways.

"How the hell do we get out?" Vegeta said, looking down each corridor.

"I dunno," Goku said. "I just wandered down here. They're gonna start the show soon, and I didn't want you guys to miss it."

"Oh joy," Vegeta said, picking a hall and flying along it.

"I remember," Trunks said as he and Goten zipped by. "Down this hall, take a left and you'll see the light at the end of the tunnel. Race ya there!"

Vegeta hesitated for a second. The last time he'd gone down the light at the end of a tunnel, bad things had happened.

"Come on," Goku said, grabbing his mate's hand and rushing forward. "We can't let them beat us!"

His mate's yell gave him no time to react as Goku yanked him down the hall past three startled humans, taking him around the corner so fast his body went horizontal. Then daylight blinded him and they were outside just in time to bump into Trunks, who also held an unwilling Goten's hand and had to help the younger demi-Saiyan off the ground.

"Gee, I guess we lost," Goku said. He turned to Vegeta and caught his punch on reflex, seizing his other wrist before he could try again. "Vegeta, calm down."

"Let me go."

"Calm down first."

"Let. Go."

Half a minute passed as they stared at each other, Goku without his usual smile and Vegeta with his usual glare. The prince considered transforming, but Goku wouldn't like that and then he'd have to deal with a sulky mate for the rest of the day and especially the night. He straightened and looked away. 

"Fine."

"Aw..." Goku grinned and tugged him close enough for a kiss, releasing his hands in favor of holding his waist. "Love you, too."

"Should they be doing that out here?" Goten whispered. "I mean, out in the open and all?"

"No one'll see. Everyone's heading for the show," Trunks said. He leaned closer and nuzzled Goten's cheek. "Trust me."

Halfway through the kiss, Gohan and Piccolo came out of the fun house blushing even more than previously. When they looked over at Trunks and Goten and found that pair locked in their kiss, they exchanged their own look and shrugged. Piccolo bent down several inches while Gohan stood on the tips of his sneakers so their lips could meet.

"Aaahhhh--" *thud*

The noise caught Goku's attention and he broke the kiss, hugging Vegeta when he heard him grumble. "Krillin?"

They all saw Krillin on the ground a few feet away just as Yamcha and Tien landed beside him, their faces twisted up and their eyes wide.

"Goku," Yamcha cried, "what's that bastard doing to you?"

"Huh?"

"You couldn't have been kissing him," Tien said. "Tell me you weren't."

"You were watching?" Trunks asked. "The whole time?"

Goten gasped. "Perverts!"

"Um, this isn't how I wanted you to find out," Goku said, scratching the back of his neck. "I was gonna wait until after the show to break the news."

"What?" Vegeta said, wriggling in his arms. "Without telling me?"

On the ground, Krillin groaned and pushed himself up. "Man oh man," he groaned. "I musta been hallucinating. Goku and Vegeta, there's no way..." He looked up and saw Vegeta caught in Goku's embrace. "Oh man...no way...no way, man."

"I get it," Trunks said. "The shock must have knocked him out of the sky."

Forgotten and ignored on the sidelines, Piccolo made sure that the humans weren't watching before grabbing Gohan and flying into the air, leaving the stunned humans behind. "I'm not dealing with this right now."

"But Piccolo-san--"

"Don't you Mr. Piccolo me," he said. "The last thing I need is to get caught up in anything involving an angry ChiChi."

"But Piccolo-san--"

"Dammit, kid, Goku's my friend but there's gonna be hell to pay when Vegeta and ChiChi go at it and I'm not gonna be there."

"Piccolo-san..." Gohan dropped his voice a few octaves. "We're all alone now and the show doesn't start for another five minutes."

"So?"

"So...I brought the whip."

The Namek plummeted from the sky and landed behind the House of Mirrors.

Back at the funhouse exit, Krillin, Tien and Yamcha all spoke at once, not allowing the Saiyans or demi-Saiyans any chance to say anything.

"Goku, you can't be gay. I mean, I never saw you check anyone out when we were in locker rooms--oh my God, were you checking me out?"

Goku shook his head. "No, Krillin, I--"

"We all thought you were just training with Vegeta," Yamcha said. "I mean, you still love ChiChi, right?"

"Well, I--"

"Oh my God, ChiChi!" Tien slapped his forehead, avoiding his third eye. "She'll flip. Or maybe she'll kill Vegeta. You aren't really gay, are you?"

"No way," Yamcha said. "That's not possible. I'll bet Vegeta's manipulating him somehow. He's just using Goku."

Krillin nodded. "You must be right. Since you and Bulma are back together, Vegeta must be desperate for any action."

"Yeah, the little slut's just after your body, Goku," Tien said.

While Goten and Trunks gasped, Goku tightened his grip on Vegeta not just out of concern for his mate's feelings. Vegeta transformed a split second after Goku, destroying his Capsule Corps jacket, and then Goku transformed again to keep up with him. As his prince's sheer fury started to overwhelm him, he peaked at level three and finally clamped down on him. The sheer power emanating from them threw the humans flat on their backs.

"Kakarrotto ze ikune gado korashtam edd'me Tien-kette, Krillin-kette, sosoii wero Yamcha ja'ta impachette--" Vegeta cursed, so furious he fell into his first language. 

"You'd better take off," Goku said to his friends. "He's not gonna calm down anytime soon and you don't wanna know what he just said about you."

"But Goku--" Krillin said.

"Go! He'll kill you if he gets loose."

The demi-Saiyans took off when the humans did, but flew in a different direction before Krillin could bombard them with questions. They passed over the carnival games and the House of Mirrors just as Gohan and Piccolo finished and collapsed in a tired heap on the grass.

"Ewww," Goten said. "I didn't need to see that."

"The Great Saiyaman conquers all," Trunks said with a laugh. "Come on, let's go find some seats before the show starts."

"You still wanna go? You know it'll explode when Dad and Vegeta get there."

"I'll be shocked if papa _doesn't _kill someone." Trunks opened his jacket and revealed his Terror Twin mask and costume. "So I'm not gonna miss this for the world!"

~*~*~*~*~*~

"Eckoto rana ma'ze Yamcha ondoshe krukkon nikuu ezodo Tien na Krillin dezo hu'man kotoka--"

"Vegeta, stop it!" Goku body slammed his mate onto the ground, knocking the wind out of him. A moment later he started cursing again.

"Kakarrotto-kette hu'man do ezodo--"

__

Wow, he can cuss! A blush sprang up on Goku's cheeks and he gave Vegeta a good shake, knocking him out of his cursing streak for a second. "Listen to me, they're gone. Calm down."

"Fucking shit-faced asshole cun--"

"Enough." Goku knew the language switch signaled Vegeta's cooling temper, but his mate still thrashed like a child throwing a tantrum. "Or do I have to find a lake and cool you off?"

Chest heaving as he breathed through clenched teeth, Vegeta's thrashing stopped but the growling didn't. Goku chanced releasing one hand, and when his prince held still he rolled off of him. For a few minutes Vegeta lay still, struggling to get his breathing back under control. When he did sit up, his hands trembled as if he wanted to hit something. Only an inch at a time did Goku scoot close enough to gently stroke his mate's hair.

"Are you okay?"

"I hate you," Vegeta whispered. "They called me...called me...and you didn't stop them. You should have killed them but you wouldn't even let me do it."

"They're just reacting the only way they know how. You can't kill them for that."

"Can I say it's the only way I know how to react?" Vegeta closed his eyes, letting the mounting tension headache dissipate. "It'd shut them up at least."

"Killing won't solve anything," Goku said.

"Not here, anyway. Death is the least permanent thing on this planet."

"You say that like it's a bad thing." Goku slipped his hand into Vegeta's, smiling as his mate returned the grip.

"Well...not always." He sighed and let Goku pull him against his chest. "Don't tell me you still want to go to whatever ridiculous show the humans are planning."

"We have to go. If we don't, they'll think we're hiding from them." He stood up and pulled Vegeta up with him. "Come on. Just let me explain things to them. I'm sure they'll be more accepting when they understand how much I love you."

"More like they'll yell at you and try to kill me." Vegeta shrugged and started walking, arms crossed. "Fine. Let's get it over with then."

Goku caught up and put one arm around his mate's shoulders. "How about ice cream afterwards?"

"Hn."

"Chocolate?"

"You're just trying to bribe me."

"Is it working?"

"...maybe."

~*~*~*~*~*~

Neither in a rush to arrive, Goku and Vegeta walked side by side past the games of chance and the large sundial in the center of the carnival, joining up with Gohan and Piccolo by the House of Mirrors. 

"Your shirt's buttoned wrong," Vegeta said.

A pink flush colored Gohan's face as he redid his buttons.

No one said a word more until they arrived at a grassy field surrounded by stands filled with humans.

"I think it's full," Gohan said. "Are there any seats left?"

"Oh well, too bad," Piccolo said.

"Yes, we might as well leave," Vegeta said, nodding.

As they turned to go, they both heard Goten's voice clear across the human cheering. "Hey, guys, we're over here! And we got some good seats!"

While the two Sons grinned identical goofy smiles, Piccolo and Vegeta both scowled and grumbled at once. "Great."

Spotting the demi-Saiyans on top of a high wall in the corner, they first walked around the bleachers so no one would spot their flight. While they sat down, Goten scooted over and sat on Trunks' lap, sighing when his mate put one arm around him. Beside them sat Piccolo and Gohan, finished off by Vegeta and Goku.

On the field, the announcer they usually saw at the tournament walked out and tapped his microphone. "Ladies and gentlemen," he started, "welcome to the Carnival Spintacular Grand Finale! There will be fireworks and explosions following a special re-enactment of the battle against Cell, featuring our city's champion, Mr. Satan!"

As the crowd cheered, the fighters on the wall groaned.

"There'd better be a lot of ice cream," Vegeta said, looking sideways at Goku, who grinned and waved his hands.

"There will be."

"Hn."

"I swear. Lots and lots of--"

"There they are!"

The six of them looked to their left as a small mob approached. Led by ChiChi, Tien and Chaotzu walked to her right while Krillin and Roshi walked to her left. Yamcha straggled behind listening as Bulma spoke quickly, her hands whirling in the air as she explained something to him.

On the field, the announcer stood back as a rubber suit Cell walked out and struck a few poses. "Intent on blood and carnage, the evil monster arrives and immediately begins the assault."

"Goku," ChiChi called up to him. "Tell me what I just heard isn't true!"

"Um, what did you hear?" Goku asked.

"Uh oh," Piccolo whispered. "Here it comes."

"That you were kissing Vegeta!" She stomped her foot and waved a fist at him. "Well, were you?"

"Don't deny it," Tien said. "I know what I saw. He practically had his tongue down your throat."

Goku felt his mate's ki spike and he put his arm around him. "Don't hurt them," he whispered. "Please."

"I swear you ask the impossible," Vegeta said, his eyes closed.

Unable to hear their conversation, the humans took Goku's move as sometime entirely different.

"Geez, quit flaunting it, willya," Roshi said. "Hugging him in front of your wife, no less."

"It can't be his fault," Krillin said. "Vegeta must be using some kind of mind control. No one'd want him otherwise."

Vegeta hissed.

"He's an animal," ChiChi said as she nodded. "Goku, Gohan, get away from--Gohan?"

"Um, hi mom," Gohan said, managing a tiny wave.

The seven-foot Namek tried to hide behind Gohan.

"Gohan, what are you doing with Piccolo?" She narrowed her eyes and looked back and forth between Goku and Gohan. "Oh my God," she cried, stumbling backward. "Gohan...not you, too!"

Confused by her outcry, the humans looked at the two pairs and spotted the similarities between their postures. Gohan sat so close to Piccolo that another inch would have had him on the Namek's lap. A look a little farther down showed Goten actually on Trunks' lap, his head on his mate's shoulder as he nuzzled the long purple hair.

"Oh my God," she whispered. "He's corrupted all of them."

"I thought it was my evil brain washing," Vegeta said. "Not that there's much to work with in this group."

"Hey!" five voices chorused.

"Goddamn slut," Tien said. "Probably misses what he got from Frieza."

A second later a golden Goku and Gohan each held one of Vegeta's arms and held the level two Super Saiyan between them, planting their feet firmly on the wall and leaning backward. Vegeta howled and managed a step, dragging the Sons with him.

"Piccolo!" Gohan yelled. "Help--"

Before he could finish, Piccolo grabbed Vegeta's waist and pulled back. Sadly he pulled back too hard and they all went sprawling behind the wall that crumbled after them.

"Massive damage and terror," the announcer on the field screamed, trying to be heard over the small explosions set around the Cell look-alike. "A few fighters come out of the woodwork to challenge his awesome might!"

"Let me go!" Vegeta screamed, sandwiched on the ground between Goku and Gohan. "I'll rip out his eyes and shove them--"

"They just don't understand," Goku said. He grabbed Vegeta's wrists and held them. "Killing them won't solve anything."

"Stop repeating yourself, dammit!"

"What's to understand about a cheating husband?" ChiChi shrieked. "What, you bang the first Saiyan you see?"

Sprawled dazed under Goten and Trunks and a wallful of bricks, Piccolo groaned and raised a hand. "Um, no, he didn't."

"ChiChi," Bulma said. "Calm down. Yelling won't change anything. This is just the way they are. They're Saiyan."

"You!" ChiChi turned on Bulma, scaring the genius into hiding behind Yamcha. "You couldn't keep your little monster on a leash, so he tears my family apart. He's stealing my husband!"

"Leave my mom out of this," Trunks said, looking exactly like his father for a moment.

"Stupid bitch," Vegeta said. As he spoke, his words turned more into hisses. "An unsuspecting husband you had to trick into marriage."

"Bastard!" she screamed. "Whore! Corrupting my husband and my children. You and Trunks are evil, worthless sluts. Fucking like animals!"

A ki flare caught their attention and the humans looked at Goten, now golden and barely restrained by Trunks. Piccolo sat up and wrapped his arms around the demi-Saiyan's legs.

"They're not evil," Goten said. "How dare you say that about them."

"How can you defend them?" ChiChi asked. "Vegeta's nothing but a monster, he'll never change. A worthless, evil slut and his son's no better--"

"Stop it!" Goten rose his ki to its limit, kicking out of Piccolo's grasp and nearly breaking his lover's hold. 

"Goten, power down," Trunks said. "You can't kill your own mother."

"But she--"

"Power down, dammit."

Forgotten on the ground, Vegeta abruptly stopped struggling. Goku and Gohan didn't let go, but they did relax and catch their breath. To their surprise, the prince's hair turned black against as he dropped out of Super Saiyan. He closed his eyes, relaxed his muscles and breathed deep.

"'Geta?" Goku whispered. 

No answer. Gohan pushed himself up and off of his father, watching him sit up with his prince in his arms. "Is he awake?"

"'Geta? Are you all right?"

Vegeta's eyes snapped open and turned blue, startling Goku so much he let go. Vegeta jumped to his feet, his ki still flying upwards, and raised one hand towards Tien.

All of the humans screamed and scattered, but Tien stared in shock at the open hand glowing brighter and brighter. He tried to step back but ended up flat on his ass, his jaw dropping just before he screamed.

"Big bang--"

"Gohan--"

"I got him!" Gohan grabbed Vegeta's arm and pulled as hard as he could.

"--attack!"

The ball of ki whistled as it sailed through the sky, exploding high over the field to the cheers of the audience. Cheers turned to isolated screeches as a few charred pigeons and sparrows landed on a few people's laps.

Without the time to charge up an attack, Vegeta used smaller ki bursts, aiming at whatever came into his range. Gohan tried to pull him down again but had to settle for hindering his aim. A moment later he found himself on the ground with a bloody lip.

"Damn," he said. "Forgot about his other hand." Someone behind him picked him up, and he looked back. "You too?"

Piccolo wiped some blood from above his eyes. "Your brother's got a mean kick."

"Finally," Vegeta said, narrowing his eyes at Tien. He raised his hand.

"No!" Goku flew in front of Tien and faced his lover. "I won't let you."

Tears welled up in his eyes, but Vegeta blinked them back. "But you'll let them--"

"Guess I hit the mark about Freiza," Tien said. "What'sa matter, Vegeta, didn't like it when the little lizard had you?"

"Tien," Goku said over his shoulder, "shut up."

"Kakarrot," Vegeta said. "Move."

"Or maybe...you were pretty weak then," Tien said. "Maybe--"

"Tien, stop it--"

"Kakarrot, get out of the fucking way!"

"He's not worth it," Goku said. "You've changed. Your heart is good now. I won't let you throw that away."

"Just one dead body," Vegeta said. "What the hell would one more dead body mean?"

"Everything." Goku took a step forward, pausing when Vegeta stepped back. Taking a deep breath, Goku moved close enough to lay his hand on his lover's cheek. "I love you. And killing any of them would hurt you far more than it could ever hurt them."

Neither of them noticed the screams or curses thrown back and forth between the two sides. Goku stared into Vegeta's eyes until the smaller Saiyan turned away.

"Not fair," Vegeta whispered.

"I'm sorry."

"I should pound you into the dirt."

Goku said nothing.

"Hey, Vegeta," Tien started one more time. "Which one was better, Goku or Freiza?"

A ki bolt landed solidly in his chest, shooting him squawking across the ground and into a booth full of fuzzy animals. Goku looked past Vegeta at their sons.

"Goten!" Trunks yelled.

"Well, he deserved it," the younger demi-Saiyan said.

"Not fair at all."

Hearing his mate's whisper, Goku looked down just as Vegeta's form blurred and disappeared. He breathed out and closed his eyes. Even without seeing his mate's face, he could feel his tears.

"About time he left," ChiChi said. "Goku, we're going home. Now." She faced her sons and growled at their lovers. "Get your hands off my sons."

None of them moved.

"Didn't you hear me? Let go of them."

His eyes wide and locked on his mother, Gohan pressed himself against Piccolo's chest. "No."

Master Roshi stepped forward and tapped his cane on one of the broken bricks around them. "Now you listen to your mother, Gohan. I've known you since you were a child, and this isn't like you."

"You don't know anything," Gohan said, his voice starting to shake. "This is everything like me." He felt Piccolo's hands settle on his shoulders and gently squeeze.

"Gohan," his mother said, her voice low and her hands clenched into fists at her side. "Get over here."

"No."

"Dammit, don't you disobey me. You're not Saiyan, you're human, and you better start acting like it. No more training, no more fighting, both of you. You're coming home and acting like humans, and I'm never letting you see Piccolo, Trunks," she wheeled to face her husband, "or Vegeta, ever again."

Sounds of the fake battle between the actors in the field echoed through the stands, the cheers of the audience the only thing any of them heard for several seconds. Piccolo and Gohan stood still, both of them staring at ChiChi. Goku tried to come up with a good response, but this type of battle was something alien to him. The humans all waited for the Sons to move towards ChiChi.

"Go to hell."

Krillin and Roshi gasped. Even ChiChi's jaw dropped. "Goten?"

"You're just full of surprises today," Trunks muttered.

"I'm not leaving Trunks," Goten said. "And none of you can make me."

"But Goten--"

"He's right," Gohan said. He put his arm around Piccolo's waist and faced his mother. "I'm half human, but I'm half Saiyan, too, and I'm not going to ignore that part of me anymore. I'm sick of trying to be something I'm not."

"But Gohan--" 

"The kid's not the one cheating on you," Piccolo suddenly said. "So what's got your panties in a bunch?"

Gohan's jaw dropped. 

ChiChi squared her shoulders as if preparing for a fight. "What you're doing is wrong. You're not the same species, you can't even have children."

Keeping his eye on ChiChi, Piccolo bent down to Gohan's level. "You never told her?"

"How could I?" Gohan asked. "I'd of had to say how I found out, and can you imagine where that would have gone?"

"He's right,"Goku said. "Hate me all you want, but this is their decision. Neither of us can take that away from them."

"Oh no," she said. "You do not get to be the good parent in this."

"But he has been," Gohan said. "Right, Goten? Goten?"

They all looked around, but the demi-Saiyans were gone.

"Mm. Seems to be the thing to do," Piccolo said. "Gohan?"

"Yeah," he said, nodding. "Let's go."

"Gohan," ChiChi said, taking a step forward. "Gohan, don't you dare leave. Gohan!" She watched the two fly into the air and disappear over the booth where Chaotzu still tried to wake Tien. She looked back at her husband. "Goku, this is all your fault."

"I'm sorry, ChiChi." He closed his eyes and lowered his head. "I never meant to hurt you."

"You really are an idiot." She turned her back and folded her arms. "Go. I don't ever want to see you again."

His shoulders drooping, he rose off the ground and left. ChiChi turned around, her mouth open to say something else, and for a moment nothing came out. "That jerk," she said after a few stutters. "He really left!"

~*~*~*~*~*~

On the other side of the carnival, Goten and Trunks sat on top of the House of Mirrors and watched the little actors in the field go through the motions of bowing down to Mr. Satan. Goten let his legs dangle over the edge while Trunks sat cross-legged, wondering if his mate would eventually settle in his lap.

"Trunks?"

"Yeah?"

"Is it okay if I stay at your place for awhile?"

"No." He traced his fingers along Goten's jaw and tilted his head up to look at him. "I want you to stay with me forever."

"Thanks." Goten gave him a shaky smile. "After what I said to mom, I don't think I'll be able to go home anytime soon."

"Silly, your home's with me now. You don't have to go back at all unless there's something you really want to get." He smirked. "And all your favorite video games are in my...in our room."

"Bulma won't mind, will she? I mean, she seemed okay with this and all."

"Mom's a genius, Goten. She probably knew about all of us long before we knew it ourselves." He watched his mate for a moment, then looked back at the wall they'd demolished. Nearby, Chaotzu and Yamcha had Tien back on his feet, but the three eyed warrior wobbled as if drunk. ChiChi sat on one of largest bricks and seemed to mutter to herself and Roshi, standing next to her. He wondered where everyone else had gone.

A ki signature appeared behind him, and he turned around to find his father standing a few feet away, arms crossed, watching the show on the field.

"Papa?"

"Vegeta?"

If he heard them, he didn't show it. He continued to stare at the mock fight between the rubber Cell and Mr. Satan. The crowd cheered again as Mr. Satan knocked his opponent down and planted his boot on the rubber chest. "You know, I'm really in the mood to blow something up."

"Even with ChiChi and the others around?" Trunks asked.

"Especially with them around."

"Cool." He opened his jacket and took out the Terror Twins costumes, handing one to Goten. He took one look at his father's face and grinned. "Here," he said, holding out the dark cloak and mask. "I brought yours, too."

"Hn. I hadn't thought of using these. You really care if the humans recognize us?" He took them anyway.

"Them, no." Trunks slid his mask on and adjusted it. "But mom and Goku and Gohan would mind."

"Good point." Vegeta took off his shirt and pants, revealing black spandex underneath.

"Do you think Gohan and Piccolo'll show up?" Goten asked. 

Now under his cloak, Vegeta smirked. "Once the fireworks start, I'm sure the Great Saiyaman will arrive to protect everyone."

The three masked villains took to the air.

"Think he'll protect Mr. Satan?" Goten asked.

"Let's find out!" Trunks said and he led the way to the field.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Clutching his microphone and waving to the crowd, Mr. Satan strutted over the big-headed Cell and placed his boot on the rubber chest. Scattered around for effect lay the stuntmen dressed as big-headed Z fighters, each groaning loud enough to be heard, but not enough to distract the crowd from their champion's speech.

"This was just a tenth, no a hundredth of the real right," Mr. Satan said with a grin. "You can't begin to imagine the sheer power of our fight, but I did it for the good of my city. I knew that if I didn't win it, the whole earth would suffer. The rest, you know, is history. I'm glad to see everyone's had a fun time at the carnival and I sure hope you folks have enjoyed our little show--"

His microphone exploded in a burst of sparks and flame. He gasped and threw the flaming plastic down while the crowd screamed in their seats. Floating above the field, three familiar masked villains closed in on Mr. Satan.

"We didn't enjoy your 'little show'," Trunks said, lowering his hand. "From what I've heard, it's just a bunch of lies."

"You never defeated Cell," Goten said, his menacing voice a total contrast to his grin. "You just showed up to take credit."

A hush fell over the crowd and everyone stared at Mr. Satan, who glanced around at his fans.

"Now now," he said, waving his arms. "Don't tell me you're gonna take the word of three masked villains. You just saw how the battle played out."

"Your version of the battle," Trunks said. He held out a hand and prepared a ki bolt. "Let's see if you remember how to dance."

"Legion of Terror! Stop right there."

The three turned and found Gohan and Piccolo floating in front of them, resplendent in their flowing capes. Around them, the crowd burst into cheers.

"Saiyaman! Saiyaman!"

"Great Green Bean! Great Green Bean !"

"What the fuck?" Piccolo asked, looking around.

"They renamed you," Vegeta said. "You switched sides, after all."

"Hey, aren't those clothes different from the ones you had before?" Trunks asked.

"Must be nice to create your clothes out of thin air," Goten said. 

"Knowing them," Vegeta said, "they probably had to."

"Hey!"

"Oh, for the love of...Legion of Terror!" Ignoring his purpling lover, the Great Saiyaman struck several moves while speaking. "Didn't you learn from our last battle that you can never win? Good will always vanquish evil."

"But until then," Trunks said, "evil's a lot more fun than good."

"You'll find it a lot more painful," Gohan said, cracking his knuckles. "The evil are always thrashed for their punishment."

"But Saiyaman," Vegeta said with an exaggerated bow that told Gohan the prince was mocking him, "shouldn't liars be punished as well?"

"Well...yes, I suppose so."

"Then what about him?" He pointed at the city's champion. "Shouldn't the great Satan be able to defeat us on his own? In fact, why are you even coming to his rescue? If he was strong enough to defeat Cell, then we should be no problem at all."

"Don't worry about me," Mr. Satan said. "I've got no problem letting these younger heroes share the spotlight."

"Actually, I'm more worried about the crowd," Gohan said, earning sighs and squeals of love from the girls in the audience. "You three aren't exactly known for your restraint."

While Gohan blushed under his mask at the swooning girls, Piccolo took the opportunity to glare at Vegeta...and he caught the Saiyan's prince's wink. Nodding once, he lay his hand on Gohan's shoulder. "Relax, kid. They're just gonna make a fool outta Mr. Satan."

"But that's not right--"

"Stupid brat." With a low growl, Vegeta leaned forward and whispered just so they could hear. "That jerk is a liar and a coward, and he always pretends that all of us are weaklings, especially you and Kakarrot. Get a backbone and defend your family's pride." 

"For once, I agree with short shit there," Piccolo whispered. "Trust us. Stand back and pretend you wanna watch the champion in action."

"More like champion inaction," Gohan whispered. In a loud voice, so the entire crowd could hear, he said, "Thanks for the kind offer, Mr. Satan, but I know you can take these guys easy, and I'd love to see the champ in action. I'll just guard the crowd if that's okay with you." Without giving him time to answer, Gohan and Piccolo backed off to float above the crowd.

"Wh-what?" Mr. Satan backed away several steps until he heard the crowd murmuring. _Shit, I'm really gonna have to do this. Well, maybe I could even the odds, or if I can't do that, at least I'll have something to fall back on._ "Well now, I don't mind fighting you, but isn't three against one kind of unsportsmanlike?"

"Oh, of course," Vegeta said far too innocently. "That's why only the brats here will fight you. Even you should be able to defeat a couple of teenagers." He glanced at the boys. "Tear him apart, brats."

"Papa?" Trunks whispered. "Aren't you gonna help?"

"Yes, I'll be keeping those annoying humans off your back."

"Which humans?" Goten asked.

"Those ones," Vegeta said, pointing down the field. 

Everyone turned to see what he was looking at and gasped at the pack of fighters flying across the field, one of them an old man riding a cloud and another a seeming midget, with one female running after them. A three-eyed fighter weaved through the air and a short clown followed behind.

"You son of a bitch!" Krillin yelled. "You leave him alone!"

With one more glance to make sure that Gohan and Piccolo wouldn't join the fight, Vegeta turned his full attention to the humans. "It seems you five are underdressed. You've forgotten your masks. Well, except for the clown, of course."

"I'm not a clown!" Chaotzu yelled, coming to a stop several yards away. "Keep him busy, guys. Just buy me a little time."

"Right," Tien said.

When he saw Tien charge, Vegeta smirked and held up one hand. "Ah, just the human I wanted to see." As he aimed, he felt a prickling in the back of his mind, and he looked up at Chaotzu. "Oh, does the little clown want to get inside my head?

Halfway between Chaotzu and Vegeta, Tien stopped and gasped. "Oh no, he's sensed him!"

"Here then, let me help you." Vegeta closed his eyes and pushed a few choice memories forward, forcing them towards Chaotzu. "Come and see the hell in my mind!"

With a scream that seemed too loud for such a small body, Chaotzu bent backwards and grabbed his head, trying to shake out the images. Alien cities that once touched the sky exploded into gravel, body parts blasted into the air and intelligent life forms reduced to kabobs on the fires fueled by their libraries. He screamed again and fell out of the sky. Tien caught him and set him down gently, but he continued to moan as if caught in a nightmare.

"What's the matter?" Vegeta said. "Didn't like the guided tour?"

"Frying pan attack!" ChiChi screeched.

"What the hell?" Vegeta looked down just in time to dodge an iron pan sailing where his head had been. "Crazy woman! You brought that to a carnival?"

"I brought twenty more of 'em," she said, flinging another.

As he dodged that attack, he sensed someone trying to sneak up from behind. With battle-honed reflexes, he caught the pan, whirled around and smacked Roshi off of his nimbus. A yell to his left tipped him off that Krillin was trying now, and he sent a ki bolt towards the smaller fighter. As the ki exploded around him, ChiChi screamed and Roshi, now on his ass in the grass, gasped at plume of smoke. Tien raced to help his friend. Krillin's charred outline came into view, followed by a smoldering shirt, burned jeans and a dazed look on his face. 

And no hair.

"Oh no," Krillin said as he patted his head, feeling for hair but only dislodging cinders. "Eighteen's gonna kill me. She'll think I shaved it off again."

"Well," Vegeta started, "since not getting any is your requirement for being gay, I suppose you'll be after Roshi any time now."

Now a few inches from Krillin, Tien suddenly backed away.

Krillin scrunched up his face. "Ewww..."

"Hey!" Roshi said, standing up. "I may be old, but I've still got it." He wiggled his hips and grinned.

"Oh my God," ChiChi said. "Now he's corrupting Krillin and Roshi."

"I'm not corrupted," Krillin said. "I'm not I'm not I'm not!"

"You're just in denial," Vegeta said. "Soon you'll be leaving Eighteen for Oolong."

"No!"

On the sidelines, Piccolo turned greener than usual. "I did not need that mental image." Half a second later, he caught a frying pan in the face. Only Gohan's outstretched arm kept him from falling into the stands.

"Uh, good catch, Great Green Bean," Gohan said. "That pan might've hit someone."

Piccolo flung the pan to the ground. "I think I liked being evil better."

~*~*~*~*~*~

A few seconds into Vegeta's battle, Trunks and Goten turned to face Mr. Satan, who trembled so much his afro shook. The half of the crowd not watching the first fight stared at their champion, wondering when he'd destroy the two villains. The remaining actors waddled off the field as fast as they could, but their huge rubber heads weighed them down.

"Now look, you two," Mr. Satan said. "I don't want to hurt you. You're not really that bad, are you? I'm sure you're good kids, underneath those masks."

"Of course we're good. We're not liars," Goten said.

"Well," Trunks said, "not most of the time."

"We don't take credit for other people's battles," Goten said. "And we don't try to belittle anyone stronger just because we're jealous."

"Well, maybe dad does," Trunks said.

"I heard that, brat!"

"And unlike you, we're just as powerful as we say we are!" Goten shot a massive blast at Mr. Satan, sending the champion and a huge divot of earth into the air.

The champion landed with a thud on the rubber Cell, bouncing both of them into the air. Gohan caught Rubber Cell and set him in the stands, but Mr. Satan hit the ground again, and this time he didn't bounce.

"Ow..."

"One hit?" Goten said, flying down until he floated inches above the champion. "That's all it took, one lousy hit?"

"Maybe we should give him more of a chance," Trunks said, nudging Mr. Satan with his boot. "He's just human, after all."

"Ewww, I don't wanna touch him," Goten said.

"Well one of us has to hit him."

"You do it, then." He looked at Mr. Satan. "That is, if he's still alive."

With a groan, Mr. Satan pushed himself back on his feet, gathering strength as the crowd cheered. "That's it, no more tricks out of you. If you wanna fight, then fight me on the ground. Unless you're too much of a coward--"

"What did you call me?" Trunks said, floating to the ground.

"Uh-oh." Goten backed away and stood beside his brother.

"You okay?" Gohan asked. "What're you doing over here?"

"He called Trunks a coward." He glanced up at his brother. "He takes that about as well as his dad."

Both Piccolo and Gohan looked at Trunks, who glared at Mr. Satan with the same look Vegeta had in fights to the death. "Uh-oh."

"You think you're so strong," Trunks said. "Come and fight me, then!"

"Gladly." Mr. Satan reached his fist back, screamed as loud as he could, and slammed his fist into Trunks' chest.

A second later, he crumpled to the ground cradling his shattered hand, sobbing something about smoke and mirrors while Trunks crossed his arms.

"What's the matter, fool? Your brat not here to save you this time?"

"Whoa," Gohan said. "He's just like his father."

"That's disturbing," Piccolo said, glancing between father and son. "It's like there's two Vegetas."

A ki blast took their attention back to Vegeta, who spouted a long stream of curses while trying to blow up Tien. He aimed between Tien's three eyes, but a flying frying pan blocked the hit. The next shot took off Krillin's shirt, which made Tien avoid the short warrior even more.

"Don't come near me," Tien said, keeping just out of Krillin's reach. "You're half naked."

"It's not my fault," Krillin said. "It's just the fighting, that's all."

While the two argued, Vegeta aimed again, but the nimbus flew into his face. He could still feel Tien's location, but when he fired and the smoke and cloud cleared, Tien had merely lost most of his pants.

"Shit!" Vegeta yelled. "If I could just kill you and be done with it." He flew back to the ground and flung one of ChiChi's pans back at her.

The rest of the fighters dropped out of the sky and into fighting stances, surrounding him. ChiChi screamed once and all of them charged, frying pan or cane or smoldering fists at the ready. A second later they bounced back to the ground, scattered as Vegeta put his arms out and expanded a huge bubble of ki around himself.

"Come on," Krillin said, struggling to stand up again. "We gotta stop him. Goku and Goten and Gohan, they're counting on us."

With a weary nod, Roshi also sat straight, spitting out a little blood as he did. "You're right. They're so far gone they're not even trying to stop Vegeta."

"I'll do it," ChiChi said, using her last frying pan as a makeshift cane. "For the manhoods of my sons and my husband."

"And to stop Vegeta's perverse corruption," Tien said.

"Dammit! Stop calling me perverse!" Vegeta stomped one boot on the ground, looking like Trunks used to when throwing a mild tantrum. 

Shockwaves rippled through the dirt like water, radiating from his boot towards the stands. Anyone standing fell, and Trunks flew off the ground as he watched the dirt twist up under the stands and then settle down again. The crowd fell silent, until a moment later when the stands creaked and tilted one way before finally collapsing.

"Oh no," Gohan said, looking around at the audience. "Is anyone hurt?"

"The seats weren't very high," Piccolo said. "The only ones who'll get worse than a splinter are the fat ones, and I bet they bounce."

"Piccolo!"

"Damn." Vegeta glanced at the crumbled stands and the humans gradually standing. "Those're some cheap seats."

"Vegeta."

The familiar voice made him whirl around. Goku hovered a few feet above him, coming down to stand in front of his prince.

"About time you showed up," Vegeta said, crossing his arms. "Done sulking?"

Without a word, Goku looked at the demolished stands, the groaning humans, sobbing Mr. Satan and the Z fighters on the ground. He glanced back at Vegeta.

"Don't look at me. They struck first."

"And the audience?"

"Blame the carnival's crappy seats."

"It's okay." Goku smiled as his prince looked away. "I know you didn't mean to do that. What about Mr. Satan? He looks like he's in pain."

"He lost a fight with our brats."

"Ah." Goku brushed his fingers along Vegeta's cheek, the cloak hiding his face. "This has to stop."

"Why? I'm not done with them yet," he said, jerking his head towards the fighters.

"Vegeta, they just don't understand--" he stopped as his mate pulled back, his eyes sparking with excess ki.

"No, I don't understand how you can stand there and let those humans insult your mate and your sons."

"Just give them time--"

"You low class son of a bitch..." Vegeta raised his hand, palm out, towards the crowd.

"No!" Goku tried to jump forward, drag his arm down, anything to stop him. Across the field, Gohan and Piccolo, Goten and Trunks, even the Z fighters, screamed as they realized what was about to happen even as they knew they couldn't stop it.

The ki gathered in Vegeta's hand, spinning into a glowing ball, then launched across the ground, racing towards the stands...

...and slamming Tien right between the eyes, bouncing him over the stands and into a cotton candy cart.

While everyone gawked or breathed a sigh of relief, Vegeta slammed a fist into Goku's stomach, leaving him on his knees on the ground as he zoomed out of the field and into the empty carnival.

"Dad!" Gohan helped his father stand straight. "Are you all right? I can't believe he sucker punched you like that."

"He's just hurt," Goku said. "I think it's been a bad day for all of us."

"Yeah. At least he didn't kill anyone."

"He really held himself back." Goku took a deep breath and glanced at the humans on the ground. "I'd better go after him. Can you--"

"--see to anyone's injuries, and get the brats home?" Gohan grinned. "No problem."

"Thanks. Um, wait." Goku rubbed the back of his head as he looked at ChiChi. "Maybe you and Goten shouldn't go home."

"Dad." Gohan put his hand on his father's shoulders. "I know. I'll stay with Piccolo, and I'm sure you and Goten can stay at Capsule Corps."

"You think Bulma won't mind?"

"I know she won't. She was defending us, remember? And whatever she said to Yamcha, it kept him from joining Krillin and Tien and Roshi. Go on." He pushed Goku forward a few inches. "Before Vegeta levels the carnival."

"Yeah. See ya!" Goku disappeared after his lover, leaving Gohan and Piccolo with a mess of humans and broken wood.

A few feet from the wailing champion, Trunks stood with his eyes shut, arms crossed, motionless. He felt Goten's ki come closer, but he didn't move.

"Trunks? Are you okay now?"

"I..." He sighed and lowered his head. "Still a little pissed."

"No kidding. I don't think he'll be getting up anytime soon." Goten put his arm around his mate's shoulders. "Come on, I think we'd better leave now."

"Why the rush? There's still plenty of cotton candy to grab."

"No, Tien's in that. But I'm not in the mood to fight Videl whenever she gets around to coming here, and Gohan's got that look in his eye."

"What look?"

"That get-out-of-your-villain-costumes-and-help-me-clean-this-mess look."

Trunks grimaced. "Yuck. Let's go." He grabbed Goten's hand and flew up, dragging his mate behind him. "Oh wait, I just remembered something." After a quick survey of the field, he spotted several rockets lined up behind a high security fence. "There they are." He sent a few ki blasts to light the rockets all at once and then dashed out of the line of fire as hundreds of fire works went off in a huge blaze.

"Trunks! Goten! Get back here!"

~*~*~*~*~*~

Still rubbing his sore stomach, Goku followed Vegeta's ki past the rigged carnival games, through the food booths and into the Fun House. He gave a silent thanks that the walls had no scorch marks and that the walls were still standing. "Vegeta?"

"Leave me alone!"

Two ki bolts zapped out of the darkness and set the ends of his hair on fire. He pinched them out and ran inside.

"Come on, Vegeta, don't be like this." He rounded a corner and spotted the edge of his lover's cloak going around another turn.

"Like what?" Vegeta's voice echoed in the empty halls. "Pissed that my mate won't let me kill someone who insults me? That he won't kill them either?"

"Vegeta..." He ran past the glowing skeletons and bats, and turned another corner to see someone facing him. He stopped, and the other person stopped. Without enough light to see this stranger, Goku only felt more nervous when he realized he felt no ki besides his own. He took a step and paused as the other stepped with him. After a deep breath, he charged towards the dark figure and collided against the wall, the sound of glass breaking around him. "Stupid mirror."

When he stood up again, he found that he'd lost Vegeta's ki. "He must be repressing it." He walked down the halls, looking down the dark corridors for stairs or a way out. "Vegeta? Are you in here?"

"I'm here, fool!"

Crashing through the wall beside him, Vegeta gave Goku another good punch and flew down the hall inches from his mate's outstretched hands. With the wind knocked out of him, Goku slowly fell behind until he struggled to keep Vegeta in sight. Then Vegeta disappeared.

"What the...?" He turned to look behind himself, but his mate hadn't backtracked. He backed up the hallway and stepped through a large hole in the floor, sending him crashing to a hidden basement. "Ow." Glowing demon faces and red eyes told him this was part of the fun house, probably still under construction. Only the blacklight reaching through the hole lit the glow paint and gave him something to see by.

"Clumsy idiot."

Goku looked up and saw Vegeta standing away from the lights, arms crossed. "Come on, Vegeta. I wanna go home."

"Go to hell."

"I know they hurt you," Goku said, standing, "but if you don't stop being angry, it'll just keep hurting you more--"

"Don't you dare lecture me about pain!" Vegeta took a step back. "I've lived with more pain than you'll ever know. My anger's all that's kept me sane."

"I know." Goku held out his hand. "But you--"

"Fuck you and your weak platitudes!" Vegeta raised his hands and fired dozens of ki blasts. "I'm sick of you. I hate you!"

Even with his arms in an X block, several blasts still burned away Goku's clothes and grazed his skin. He winced and fired his own bolt, focusing on Vegeta's hands. It caught his prince by surprise, exploding one last blast in his face and throwing him backwards.

"Fine." Goku straightened, his face cold. "If this is the only way you'll stop throwing a tantrum--" He stopped when he saw his mate's face. The cloak and mask were gone, letting him see the tears flowing down Vegeta's face. A second later, Vegeta was up and running again.

"Oh no..." Without any light to guide him, he bumped into wall after wall, finally walking with one hand stretched out and the other on the wall. He walked for several minutes, feeling Vegeta's ki around him but unable to find him in the maze.

A blast sounded to his left, and Goku realized Vegeta had tired of wandering and decided to leave through his own door. Goku sighed and raised one hand, about to create his own door, when the wall in front of him burst apart and Vegeta flew through. He wrapped his arms around Goku's waist and pressed his face against the larger chest, closing his eyes tight.

"Vegeta?" Goku looked down the newly created hall. After a moment, he figured that the hole Vegeta had created had let in some black light, which illuminated a painting that hadn't been visible before. 

Several purple tentacles floated around a demon the painter hadn't finished, leaving it just a white figure with pink and purple spots. In fact, the tentacles looked more like large worms, and the placement of some of them around the demon...

Goku knew now why worms frightened Vegeta.

With a loud sigh, he put his arms around his mate and gently squeezed. "It's all right. It's just a painting. It's not real." He watched Vegeta look over his shoulder at the design, then press even closer. "Must've startled the heck out of you, huh?"

"Mm."

"Come on. Let's go home." He touched his fingers to his head and concentrated, taking them back to their shared bedroom. He sat down on the bed and pulled Vegeta into his lap, stroking his hair. After a moment, Vegeta relaxed and leaned against him. 

"It's all your fault," he said, his voice muffled against Goku's neck.

"Huh? Why?"

"Your dumb idea to go to that carnival."

"I'm sorry." Goku brushed a few tears from his love's eyes and hugged him. "I didn't think that would happen."

"Obviously." He took a deep breath and stifled a few hiccoughs. "You promised ice cream."

"Oh yeah. I'll go get it." One more nuzzle, then he eased out from under Vegeta and went to the door.

"Kakarrot."

"Yeah?"

"I'll be in the living room." Vegeta stood up and walked to the window.

"Um, okay." Goku watched him fly out the window and out of sight. With another sigh, he walked downstairs to the kitchen, nearly tripping over Yamcha, who lay stretched out on the ground. "Yamcha? What're you doing down there?"

"Huh?" Yamcha looked up at him and gave a half-grin. "Oh, Bulma lost an earring under the fridge."

"Oh." Goku stepped over him and opened the freezer, pulling out a white bucket of ice cream larger than his head. "Why didn't you just pick the fridge up?"

With both of his hands under the fridge and dust particles in his hair, Yamcha blinked and looked at him. "Good question. Could you lift it up for me?"

"Sure." Goku set the bucket down and picked up the fridge. Gleaming in the dust lay a green circle.

"There it is." Yamcha grabbed it and stood. "Hey, uh...Goku?"

"Yeah?" He picked up the bucket and moved it from hand to hand so it wouldn't freeze his skin.

"Um, I'm sorry about earlier today. Bulma explained it to me, and um..." He rubbed the back of his neck and stared at the floor. "I don't get it, but I guess if you're happy with it...I guess I can learn to handle it."

Goku smiled. "I understand. I guess it is a little weird at first."

"Yeah, I mean...Vegeta, who'd of guessed?"

"Stupid human."

Both of them jumped back as Vegeta stepped in, grabbed the ice cream and turned to leave.

"No, Vegeta..." Yamcha braced himself as the Saiyan prince turned. "It's not that. It's just...I just needed a little time to get it, but the idea of any two guys together still seems yucky to me. It's just the way I am."

"Hm. Of course it is. You're only human." Vegeta took two spoons out of a drawer. "Does this mean I'm not manipulating the idiot?"

"No, you're not manipulating him," Yamcha said with a smile. "But maybe you have him wrapped around your finger?"

"Hm." Vegeta couldn't stop his slight smile.

"Huh?" Goku looked at Yamcha and then Vegeta's back as the prince went into the living room. "I don't get it."

"Well, I better get this back to Bulma," Yamcha said and all but ran down the hall.

"Huh?"

~*~*~*~*~*~

When Bulma and Yamcha came out later, they found Vegeta leaning against Goku on the couch, half the ice cream gone. Trunks sat in the recliner on the side, eating a pizza slice, and Goten floating upside down behind him, finishing off one slice and going for another.

"Goten," Bulma sighed, "can't you sit like everyone else?"

"He tried," Trunks said. "After the fifth minute, he got so squirmy he started floating."

Bulma sat down on the opposite couch and patted the seat beside her until Yamcha joined her. She lay down with her head on his lap. "What are you watching?"

"A comedy," Vegeta said.

"Vegeta," Goku said. He looked at Bulma. "Reporters are grilling Mr. Satan and trying to get Gohan to do an interview."

On the television screen, the Great Saiyaman backed up as the reporters followed him across the field. 

"Great Saiyaman, how did you defeat those villains?"

"If Mr. Satan couldn't defeat them, does that mean you're stronger than he is?"

"Would you like us to change our city's name to Saiya City?"

"Great Saiyaman, would you give our network an exclusive interview?"

"Great Saiyaman, can I have your baby?"

A thud behind Trunks told them Goten had just fallen to the floor laughing.

In the background, Mr. Satan screamed at the reporters from his stretcher as he was loaded onto an ambulance.

"Hey, interview me, I'm the champion of Satan City and--" his eyes bugged out. "Ow ow ow ow! Someone hit my hand!"

A second later, Piccolo stumbled into view, three screaming girls wrapping around his chest and waist with another on his leg and a fifth hanging onto his arm. He tried to shake her off, and in the meantime a sixth girl jumped on his back and wrapped her thighs around his head.

"Help!" he yelled. "How do you get them off?"

"Great Green Bean, let me have your child!"

"Are you green *everywhere*?"

"Why did you change your costume? You look good in straps."

"You're so tall. Is everything about you big?"

"Ooh, what do these antennae do?"

Piccolo's eyes bugged out much like Mr. Satan's had done as his antennae were stroked. Groaning and turning purple, he fell to one knee. "Help!"

Choking on a slice of pizza, Trunks struggled to breathe and laugh at the same time.

"Um, excuse me," Gohan said. He turned and fled the cameras, grabbed Piccolo's cape and jerked him skywards. Girls fell off like overripe fruit and Piccolo's eyes bugged out again as the girl's hands accidentally pulled his antennae.

"G'han..."

"Hang on, we're almost out of camera range."

"G'han..."

"Boy, you sure were covered in girls."

"G'han!" Miles up in the air, Piccolo pulled away from Gohan, tearing his cape. "Dammit, you were choking me!"

"Oh, sorry Piccolo. Hey, um, it is okay if I stay with you, right?" He glanced at the ground where Chaotzu and Krillin helped Tien out of the candy and Roshi patted ChiChi's shoulder only to be clobbered. "I know Goten and dad aren't going back, and I'm afraid of what mom might do if I did."

"No kidding. She's gonna be pissed for awhile." He lay his hand on Gohan's shoulder. "You know you can live with me from now on."

"Piccolo...was what I did right?" He floated closer and hugged him. "I mean, she's my mom. And Goten even cussed at her--"

"Gohan, I know you. You'd have married some girl and had a kid if didn't stand up to your mother sometime." He cupped Gohan's chin and made him look up. "Would you have been happy like that?"

"Well...I guess a son or a daughter would be nice, but..." he shook his head. "No. I'd probably argue all day with any girl strong enough to deal with me, and mom would probably make me live really close by. I wouldn't be happy. At least not as happy as you make me."

"And I like having you with me all the time," Piccolo said. "Even if I have to be the Great Green Bean some of the time."

"Or a Torture Twin?" Gohan grinned and switched out of his Saiyaman costume, back into his jeans and shirt. "That girl was right, you know. You look good in black straps."

Piccolo frowned.

"And that mask with a zipper. And the thong that rode up--"

"That's it," the Namek said. "I'm taking that whip to your backside."

"I bet I beat you back to the bedroom," Gohan said, flying away.

A second later, two golden streaks colored the sky, racing higher into the air.

The End


	3. 3

****

The Great Saiyaman Movie and the Two Legions of Terror   
by KC 

Disclaimers:   
Counting out haiku   
syllables of how I don't   
own Dragonball Z. 

Pairings: Gk/V, Gt/T, Gh/P

Warnings: Sexual themes and adult language. If you can't deal, ditch.

Other Info: This final installment of the Saiyaman trilogy is brought to you by the letters B, D, S and M, and by the numbers 6 and 9. This installment also made possible by a grant of answers from Cyntiger.

----------------------------------

Wrapped in a towel and wearing bath sandals, Goku followed his mate through the hall and up the stairs. Since everyone else was asleep, Vegeta walked naked with his arms crossed. His hair, still wet from their shower, showed signs of standing straight again, although the ends still curled downwards. He kept his eyes shut, as if ignoring Goku would make him shut up.

"No."

"But Vegeta--"

"No."

"It'll be fun--"

"No."

"I promise--"

"You said that the last time!" Vegeta spun around, nearly sending Goku down the stairs, and landed a punch in the center of his chest that smacked him against the wall. "You said the carnival would be fun, the finale would be fun, the spaghitto would be fun...is this going to be as much fun as those?"

"Spaghetti," Goku said as he stood. He readjusted the towel around his waist before it could slide off his hips.

"Whatever the hell it is! It sticks to everything." Vegeta turned and walked back up the stairs. "We'll be cleaning that shit out for days. Don't you dare ask for anything."

"But Vegeta--" Goku transmitted in front of him, grabbing his wrists when he tried to punch again. "It's free, it's in an amusement park, we'll get lots of free food, and I promise there'll be no Cell re-enactments."

"And what the hell is an amusement park?" Vegeta struggled in Goku's grip, finally settling for planting a double kick on his lover's chest that sent them both stumbling into their room. "Sounds infinitely boring."

Goku shut the door with his foot and tossed Vegeta onto their bed. "It's not boring. There's rides and games and shops and lots of things to do."

"Sounds like that stupid carnival."

"Well, a little," Goku said. A small lamp stood on the nightstand beside the bed, and he turned it on. The room filled with a warm glow. "But it's bigger and better." He sat down next to Vegeta and waited to see if the prince would attack or relent.

The smaller Saiyan flopped back on the pillows and shut his eyes. "Is that screeching harpy going?"

"No."

"Humans?"

"Just a few with invitations. Yamcha and Bulma. I think Mr. Satan's still in the hospital, but maybe Videl..."

The mattress tilted a few inches as Goku leaned back and slipped off the towel. When he lay down he put his arm around his mate, and he grinned when Vegeta didn't smack him or growl or curse. "Goten and Trunks'll be coming."

"Good, keeps the brats out of my way."

"Please, Vegeta..." He began kissing his way from his mate's shoulder to his throat, scraping his teeth across the claim mark that stood out like a half-necklace on Vegeta's skin. "I wanna go...and there's fun things to do there...and then we can sit in the back of the theater..."

"Your eldest brat and the Namek will probably beat us to it," Vegeta said. Goku's hands felt warm holding his own. He closed his eyes and focused on his mate's mouth, now placing a kiss in his palm. 

"So will you come? Bulma says we wouldn't even have to dress up."

Silence for a moment, and then the prince cracked his eyes open a bit and glanced at Goku. "It'll turn out like the last time."

Goku stretched out and lay his head on the pillow, tugging his prince closer so that Vegeta could nestle in the crook of his arm. For awhile he lay still, only running his fingers through his mate's still damp hair. He sighed and looked out the window at the stars. Vegeta's chest rumbled softly. Goku smiled. His mate rarely purred, and whenever he did, it was silent, only discernible by that quiet vibration. He stroked his mate's hair a little slower.

"It won't be. None of them'll show up, and even if they do, I promise--"

"What? That you'll let them insult you and your mate and your brats--" 

Goku's fingers pressed against his lips, quieting him.

"--that I won't let them hurt you again," Goku said. "I love you, and if it means cutting off ties with my friends...then I guess they weren't my friends after all."

Vegeta's eyes lit up and he rose up on one arm, staring down at his mate. "And you'll stop acting like a human?"

"Mmm..." Goku grabbed Vegeta's shoulders, flipped him back onto the mattress and leaned over him, holding him still with his weight. "You sure that's what you want? Kakarrot likes to bite."

A smirk spread on the prince's face and he let his eyes half-close. "Kakarrot talks too much."

Goku turned off the lamp. 

*

The city lights came on as the sky turned purple and the stars slowly appeared, sparkling in the rising heat waves. The city sprawled beneath them, stretching out for miles in all directions, busy with people on their way home or out for the evening entertainment. A violet glow spread over the horizon, and the full moon crested bright and silver over Dream Land's glass dome.

Two Saiyans and two demiSaiyans rode the escalator that spiraled from the ground to the dome. Trunks and Goten edged as close as they could to the glass, staring at the landscape far in the distance.

"We're so high up," Goten said, looking down. "They all look like bugs."

Arms crossed, Vegeta followed their looks. "What's so damn interesting? You've flown higher."

"But it's neat riding up here," Trunks said. "I didn't think this escalator went so high. It's weird that we never came to Dreamland when we live so close."

"It's ridiculous, that's why."

Goku put his arm around Vegeta's shoulders, careful not to squeeze. "Why do you mind amusement parks so much? And it can't be just that it's full of humans."

His usual reply cut off, Vegeta looked away and stared at the city below. "Going with you to anything involving carnivals, circuses or amusement parks is simply asking for trouble."

"Circuses?" Goku asked. "We've never gone to the circus."

"Um, we have," Trunks said. "Mom got Papa to take me and Goten to the circus when we were smaller."

"Oh yeah." A smile spread over Goten's face. "I remember that day. I got to pet the tigers."

"And we chased the clowns all over the tent, zapping them," Trunks said. "And we ate all their cotton candy and popcorn."

"And tipped over their port-a-potties," Goten said.

"And flew circles around the acrobats," Vegeta said. "And baited the cops, and started a food fight, and blew the main tent into the sky. They made the local news. Little brats nearly got me kicked out of the house for a week."

"That reminds me," Trunks said, grinning at his father. "The circus is back in town finally and--"

Vegeta lowered his eyes and glared at him. "No."

"Aww..."

The tunnel's sides turned dark and began to flash different colors, turning their skin blue and green and red. Goten and Trunks opened their eyes wide and held their hands up, watching them turn purple and yellow, but the light show caught Vegeta off guard and he pressed close against Goku.

"Relax," Goku said. "You're jumpy tonight."

A blush spread over Vegeta's cheeks, and he was glad the colored lights hid it. "Why don't we just skip this?"

"Skip the new Saiyaman movie?" Goten asked. "Are you crazy?"

Goku leaned down to Vegeta's ear. "Don't answer that."

"We have to go," Trunks said. "Do you know how many people would kill for our tickets?"

"As many as I want to right now?" Vegeta shrugged his mate's hand off his shoulder, but he didn't move away. "What's so damn interesting about a movie?"

"It's a Saiyaman movie," Trunks said. 

"So?"

"So," Goten said, "they're all like those movies they always show at the tournaments. Rubber heads, lousy effects, guys in suits stomping on miniature cities, and this time, the Great Saiyaman is actually gonna show up at a premiere."

Trunks snickered. "With the Great Green Bean."

"Then why would you want to see it?" Vegeta asked. 

"It's kinda like staring at a train wreck," Trunks said.

The escalator stopped and a girl dressed in a blue uniform smiled and held her hand out. "Welcome to DreamLand. Do you have your invitations?"

"We're on the list," Trunks said. "Vegeta and Trunks Briefs, Son Goku and Son Goten."

She checked her list and checked off four places, then backed away so they could go through the entrance. "Thank you for coming. The movie won't start for a few hours, so please enjoy yourselves at all of our rides and games."

"Cool," Goten said as he went in, his eyes growing wide as he looked from ride to ride. "A theme park all to ourselves."

"Almost," Trunks said. "Let's do the Curling Caterpillar first." He grabbed Goten's hand and led him towards the roller coaster.

Vegeta shook his head once and started towards the dome's edge, but Goku had already found the nearest food venue.

"Ooh, ice cream!" Goku took a few steps, then turned. "I'll be right back, 'Geta. Don't leave, okay?"

Without looking at him, Vegeta shrugged once. While the three ran off, he walked to the edge of the dome and looked out. The skyline reminded him of a planet he'd long forgotten the name of, if he ever knew it, but something seemed off. The mountains in the distance were the same shape, the city the same shimmer of tiny lights, but the sky...he shook his head. No wonder. The other sky had been a pale orange. 

A few of the stars glowed bright enough to be seen through the city's glare, and he put his hand on the glass. He'd stared at space like this in Frieza's ship, a few inches of clear plastic between him and the vacuum. A small ki burst could have shattered any window in the ship and sent him to where Frieza could never hurt him again.

"I would've done it," he whispered. He let his hand fall and looked at the cars passing by below. "But you would've survived." 

Screams shot up into the air behind him, but he only glanced over his shoulder. Screams no longer startled him. A few humans waved their hands over their heads as they rode in a steel caterpillar on a track that ran in loops and corkscrews. In the front seat Goten clung to Trunks' body and yelled as the caterpillar dropped fifty feet and spun around. Trunks couldn't yell, simply trying to breathe as Goten tightened his grip. They zoomed out of sight and Vegeta glanced at the clock inside the coaster operator's little shack. Another hour before the Saiyaman movie premiere. He sighed and fidgeted in his black jeans and sneakers. 

"At least the woman didn't choose these," he said, looking down at himself. His mate had picked their clothes for this trip. "But why was Kakarott drooling over them?" 

"Geta!" Goku walked closer, a huge ice cream in each hand. "Here, I got you one, too."

"What is it?" Vegeta asked, and held the cone as gingerly as he could. It felt like it might crumble and fall apart.

"Ice cream," Goku said as he took a lick. 

"I know that. But what's it on?"

"Oh, that. It's a cone. You eat it. I know you like chocolate, so it's four scoops of that."

"Ah." He nibbled the cone, found it not unpleasing, and continued. "What time is it?"

"Seven. The movie doesn't start 'till nine." Goku looked out the glass at the sky. "What were you looking at?"

"Nothing. Just remembering." Vegeta whirled and started walking away. "Why are we here if it doesn't start for another two hours?"

"To have fun," Goku said. "It's been a long time since I've been here. Careful, don't let the ice cream drip."

While they walked Vegeta glanced at his mate. Like him, Goku wore human clothes, a white shirt and jeans so tight Vegeta wondered if he could fight in them, but Goku also wore a long coat that hung past his calves. He shook his head. He'd be swallowed up in the coat that barely covered his mate's shoulders. 

Green and orange lights flickered over them and they looked up. A fifteen foot green and orange Saiyaman sign blinked and flashed twenty feet above the dome. His white gloved hand waved back and forth as he grinned. Every few seconds, the lights rimming his sunglasses lit and flickered in circles. 

"A pity the Great Green Bean isn't up there too," Vegeta said. 

"I think he's gonna be in the next one. Poor Piccolo." Goku felt a pressure on his side and looked down. Vegeta had leaned against him, fitting perfectly against his shoulder, and Goku put his arm around his mate. Vegeta's skin seemed cooler than usual and he hugged him closer, trying to warm him up. He watched him finish the ice cream in seconds and smiled. If he plied Vegeta with chocolate, the prince would let Goku hold him throughout the night, and that was worth the pissed mood he'd have come the next morning. 

A crowd of well-dressed premiere goers, all sipping champagne or drinking wine or retouching their makeup, came closer down the path. They all smelled of alcohol and sex. Vegeta pressed a little harder against Goku. The crowd passed by and he tensed, turning his face towards Goku's shirt and closing his eyes. His mate's fingers curled around his cheek and gently brushed his knuckles across his skin. When he couldn't hear them anymore, he looked back up and found Goku looking at him. He stared back at the ground, waiting for his mate to ask questions, root out painful memories, drag him through another humiliating conversation--

Goku hugged him and kept walking. After a quiet minute, Vegeta smiled and kept his eyes on the cobblestones.

"Look, it's a Tunnel of Love."

"What?" He looked up and found a pink heart shaped gazebo and swan boats bobbing in a stream that led into a dark tunnel. "Oh no."

"C'mon, it'll be neat," Goku said and pulled him forward. "It'll be quiet and dark and no one can see us..."

Swans bumped each other in line as a couple stepped into one boat and floated into the tunnel, and the two Saiyans stared at the empty gazebo for a moment. Vegeta made a noise like a short moan and shook his head. Goku whispered to his mate, "should I bribe you with more chocolate tonight?"

"Hm. It might help." He leaned against him again. Goku whispered in his ear, and Vegeta smiled. "Impossible."

"Have I ever lied about chocolate ice cream?"

"Mm. No." Vegeta allowed Goku to tug him through the pink gazebo. "I really hate this color."

"But I love my little bad man--ow!" Goku jumped as his mate punched his arm.

"Don't you dare call me little."

"Sorry, sorry," he said, rubbing the sore spot. "Ow. I think that's gonna bruise."

"Quite whining, baby. I didn't hit you hard at all."

The Saiyans walked up to the edge of the artificial stream and waited a few seconds for the next swan to come. Set on automatic, the swans floated down into the tunnel on a regular pace. The white fiberglass thunked on the concrete side and paused, water sloshing around the edges. Goku stepped inside first, but the tip of his boot caught on the swan's edge and he tumbled face first onto the seat.

"Kakarrot...honestly." Vegeta grabbed the scruff of Goku's shirt and hauled him back up. "Earth's champion defeated by a swan."

"Ow..." Goku rubbed his nose and sat down on the bench seat. "That hurt."

"Maybe we should enter it in the next tournament." Vegeta stepped down into the swan and noticed that his side of the bench was wet, but before he could drag Goku off again the swan started to float away from the gazebo. "Hell."

Goku looked up at his mate. "What's the matter--whoa!" He leaned back as Vegeta plopped himself down in his lap and leaned against him. "You okay, 'Geta?"

"Fine. I just don't wanna get wet is all." He closed his eyes and lay his head on Goku's shoulder, smiling as he caught his mate's scent. "Warm."

The artificial breeze picked up as they went into the tunnel, and Goku noticed that his lover's skin felt even cooler than before. He put his arms around Vegeta and let the edge of his coat slip over his mate's legs.

"You get cold so quick," Goku whispered.

"Do not. You're just so damn big."

"And I wore something warmer than a leather jacket."

"S'warm enough. 'Sides, you picked it out." He yawned and cracked one eye open. "Why's it so dark?"

"'Cause it's a tunnel?"

"Idiot." He looked over his shoulder but couldn't see anything except a slight shimmer on the water. "Is the whole thing so dark?"

A spark and a whiff of powder were their only warnings as flames spurted up beside the boat and lit a set of gaping jaws and fangs that came towards them with a screech like metal scraping metal. Before the flames could die down, Vegeta yelped and tightened his grip on his mate so much that Goku's eyes bugged. The jaws disappeared and Goku hugged Vegeta back. A moment later he gently nudged him.

"'Geta...c'n't...br'th..."

"Hmph." Vegeta let him go and sat straight again. "Why the hell do they call this a tunnel of love if things like that jump out at you?"

Glad that the darkness hid his grin, Goku hugged his mate and found one of the prince's hands, and he held it against his chest. "Because they startle some people and make them jump into their mate's arms. And they're so dark no one else can see them."

"Mm. First good idea they've had on this planet." Vegeta's uncaptured hand slid down Goku's thigh and into the hem of his pants. "How long will we be in here?"

"Umm..." They only heard the swooshing waves, the edge of the boat as it knocked the tunnel edges. "Maybe five minutes?"

"Five? I've never seen how fast I can do this..." He yanked Goku's pants down. Without any light to help him, he ran his hand down Goku's thighs, feeling his way down, then up. His mate whimpered and bucked once, nearly throwing him off. "Settle down, Kakarrot. Or do you want me to stop?"

No movement. Vegeta smiled and began, kissing the only man who'd ever trusted him to be so close.

*

The Caterpillar came to a rest with a hydraulic hiss and the safety bars settled back into place. Goten jumped out of the car and stretched. Behind him, Trunks stepped out and wobbled sideways.

"That was awesome," Goten said. "The way it went upside down and corkscrewed and went straight down. Did you--Trunks?"

Ignoring his friend for the moment, Trunks leaned against the railing on the exit ramp and put his hands over his eyes. He groaned, and the people walking off the ride walked on the other side of the ramp in case he was sick.

"Are you okay?" Goten asked. He put his hands on Trunks' shoulders. "Are you gonna throw up?"

"No, just a headache." He leaned against Goten's side and let him guide them down the ramp towards a bench.

"Headache? Trunks, we've flown loop de loops harder than that."

As they sat down, Trunks leaned back and looked up at the dome's ceiling. He took a deep breath. "Yes, but you weren't squeezing all the oxygen out of me then."

"Oh, oh geez, I'm sorry, I didn't think I was hugging you that hard," Goten said and hugged Trunks again. 

Trunks' eyes bugged and he managed a strangled groan. Goten gasped and let go again.

"Ah, I'm sorry!"

"S'awright," Trunks said. "I'll be okay." He lay one hand on his mate's thigh and squeezed. "You can make it up to me later."

Goten opened his mouth to speak, but he was drowned out by a crackle of thunder and a flash of golden light from inside the Tunnel of Love. They both turned in time to see smoke wisp out from the opening. A minute later out floated a blackened swan, its head gone and the wings melted like candle wax on the boat's side. Goku straightened his shirt while Vegeta leaned back next to him, smirking as usual, running one hand through his hair.

"I was right," Vegeta said to Goku, although his voice was loud enough for anyone to hear.

"About what?"

"Even you cannot defeat the hooded swan." 1

While Goku furrowed his brow, Vegeta stepped out of the swan and started towards the food court.

Goten and Trunks glanced at each other and started to chuckle. "Ewww!"

*

Up in the sky, beside the birds and below the altitude of planes, Gohan and Piccolo sat on top of the DreamLand dome and gazed out over the darkening landscape. A cold breeze rushed over them and Gohan pressed against Piccolo. The Namek spread his cape around Gohan's shoulder and hugged him.

"I don't understand why they want to make movies about me," Gohan said. "It's kinda stupid."

"As stupid as going to the premiere?" Piccolo asked.

"Better than staying home and getting mom's phone calls all day." He hung his head and sighed. "I have to do something about her, but I don't know what."

Piccolo laughed. "Threaten to stop studying."

"Piccolo..."

"I know, I know. Still, you're gonna have to do something, even if it means disowning her."

"No way, that'd be even worse." He looked at the Saiyaman sign, smiling and waving above them, and thought about blasting off its head. "Things were a lot simpler before."

"No they weren't, you just remember them that way. Or would you rather be back in high school?"

"Sweet Kami, no," Gohan said. He started to laugh. "That's true. No matter what happens, at least I'm not in high school anymore."

They fell silent for several minutes, watching the city move beneath them. Made up of lines of light in darkness, the city seemed to breathe on its own, like a living creature they could barely sense.

"It's cold up here," Gohan said. "We might as well drop in until the movie starts."

"We don't have tickets. Unless you wanna go in our costumes--"

"No problem, watch." He flared his ki a few times and waited.

A few seconds later, Goku appeared in front of them. "Hi Gohan, Piccolo. You coming in now?"

"Just a sec." Gohan tapped the watch that made his costume disappear, and beside him Piccolo did the same, leaving them in semi-formal wear. "Okay, we're set."

"Great. I don't think Vegeta'll wait for me long."

"How'd you get short shit to come?" Piccolo asked. "I thought he hated being around humans."

Goku grinned. "I had to promise a lot of ice cream." He put his hand on Gohan's shoulder and put his fingers to his forehead. The city disappeared, replaced by a yellow and green tent with a shooting gallery and baby dolls as prizes.

"Darn, he left," Goku said, looking around. "I guess he got impatient."

"We'd better find him," Piccolo said, "before he destroys something."

"I'll find him. You go have fun," Goku said and transmitted out again.

Gohan and Piccolo exchanged glances.

"Food court?" Piccolo asked.

"That'd be great," Gohan said, smiling broadly. "How'd you know I was hungry?"

"You're a Son. You're always hungry."

*

Arms crossed, Vegeta stood at the edge of the dome again and stared outside. The sparkles of light in the rising heat made the city look like a life form he'd seen once on a distant plant, something like jellyfish but crystalline. They had been dark blue, not black, but their bioluminescence rippled like ribbons of lights along their bodies. Over a hundred feet long and spread out over the planet's oceans in schools that ran for miles, the glowing creatures had looked like a city moving in darkness, one of the most beautiful things he'd ever seen. And he'd vaporized them all.

"Hey 'Geta!" Goku's bit eyes blinked at him.

Even as Vegeta fell backward he cursed himself. He landed on his ass and glared at his mate. "Kuzo, Kakarrot, nezo kadde o!"

"Huh?" Goku tilted his head. "You okay? I didn't startle you, did I?"

"Diiratta ne gezi--" The Saiyan prince bared his teeth and raised his hands into a familiar blast technique. "Big bang--"

"No!" Goku dived on top of Vegeta, squashing his hands down and holding him still until he finally stopped kicking. As his mate growled deep in his throat, he looked into his eyes. "Y'know, you're starting to make this a bad habit."

"No worse than that damn technique," Vegeta said. "Get the hell off me."

"Promise you won't blast anything?"

"Yes."

Goku relaxed his muscles, then tightened again. "And you won't blast me?" The last time he'd forgotten to secure that promise, his mate had pounded him into the side of a cliff.

Vegeta turned his head. "If you insist."

"Okay then." He sat up and rubbed the back of his head. "I'm sorry I surprised you. I just wanted to come quick and I forgot how you don't like instant transmission."

"Brainless third class..." He closed his eyes and sighed. "I'll never figure out how you survived your childhood."

"Lots of food. Oh yeah, I forgot." With a broad grin, Goku looked down the row of rides and game booths to a smoky tent on the other side of the park. "We've gotta get to the Smoky Chicharone before everyone else gets there."

"Smoke what?"

"Smoky Chicharone, it's Mexican. C'mon, get up. No, better yet--" He put his fingers to his forehead. "Let's go now."

"Kakarrot, no--"

They appeared sitting on top of a table under the Smoky Chicharone sign, a bright yellow arrow pointing at them and flashing on and off. Goku jumped off of Vegeta and ran to the window, ordering so much food the owner cheered and told his staff they'd all take vacations after tonight.

Vegeta lay still on the table. He found he had a good view of the stars and the area around him was relatively quiet. None of the stars were familiar, but from this view they looked the same as when he'd camped with Raditz and Nappa on dozens of dead planets.

A green head popped into view. "Hey, short shit. You still alive?"

Vegeta tilted his head. Piccolo had on black sunglasses and a hat covering his ears. "Why the disguise? There aren't many seven foot tall green beans on earth."

Beside him, Gohan blinked and looked at Piccolo. "He has a point."

"I got the food!" Goku said. 

Vegeta slid off the table and into his seat as his mate plopped dozens of burritos, enchiladas, and other variations of meat and cheese in a tortilla. Food began disappearing into Goku's mouth, and Vegeta rushed to fill his own stomach before it all disappeared.

"What are these?" Piccolo asked, poking a skillet full of still sizzling meat and a pile of tortillas.

"Fajitas." Goku rolled the meat up and inhaled it. "S'good."

Gohan made one and tried it. "Not bad."

"Thought you'd become a vegetarian," Vegeta said as he finished off the last one. Everyone stared at the prince.

"Vegetarian?" Gohan asked.

Vegeta couldn't force the smirk back. "All you seem to eat now is green beans."

Piccolo snarled. "You little--" 

Gohan wrapped his around Piccolo's waist and held him in a grip so tight the Namek's face started to turn purple. At the same time, Goku put his hand on Vegeta's shoulder and transmitted out just as a ki blast singed the chair.

When they reappeared on the other side of the park, Vegeta couldn't stop laughing. He leaned against his mate and snuggled, and Goku looked down on him with wide eyes and a dropped jaw.

"Vegeta, what is wrong with you?" He grabbed his mate's shoulders and shook him once.

"Wrong?" Vegeta laughed louder. "What makes you think--?"

"This!" Goku said, breathing faster and wondering if his lover had gone insane. "You never laugh like this. Or get angry as fast as you did, or act like that with Piccolo, at least not that bad. I mean, I know you have mood swings, but never like this."

"It's nothing..."

"So it _is_ something."

"Oh yes," Vegeta whispered. "A wonderful secret."

About to ask another question, Goku stopped as Vegeta dropped his ki so low he could hardly feel it. Only a soft glow in his abdomen--

Freeze.

__

That's not Vegeta.

He knelt and lay his hands on his mate's stomach, feeling the tiny glow that was their child. "You...how long?"

"Not long. A few weeks." 

Fortunately no one else was nearby as Goku, champion of the earth, fell to his knees and felt all his muscles start to shake. "We're gonna have a baby...we're gonna have a baby. I'm gonna be a daddy again. I'm...wait, but how--?"

"Kakarrot, you have three children already. Do I really have to explain the ins and outs?" Vegeta knelt and put his hands on Goku's face, steadying him. "Quit shaking already. One more isn't going to be a problem." 

"Won't be a problem, that's not why I'm shaking." Goku smiled. "This is wonderful. Our own baby..."

"Another brat, yes."

As Goku hugged Vegeta again, a thought wormed its way through his happiness. "Vegeta," he asked, "why didn't you tell me?" Goku asked.

Vegeta half-shrugged and stood. "I didn't think the mood swings would be so bad. Nor those seriously strange cravings for different foods..." He sighed and shook his head, turning away from Goku. He started to walk away. "Come on, it'll be time for that ceremony to start soon. If you rea--"

The only reason Goku didn't squash him on the ground was that he was afraid it would harm the child inside his mate. Instead he lunged before Vegeta could get far and wrapped his arms around his waist, then yanked his mate backwards. With a yelp, Vegeta stumbled into Goku's lap and his tightly wrapped arms.

"Kakarrot! Have you gone crazy?" He tried to get up, move his arms at least, but Goku had him pinned. He moved to kick him and Goku pinned Vegeta's legs down with his own. The prince turned his head, about to bite his mate's cheek, but Goku twisted one of his hands in Vegeta's hair, yanking his head back. "Kakarrot!"

Before speaking, Goku took a breath and calmed himself down. Growling at his lover would only make him angrier. He brushed his lips against Vegeta's ear and nipped. The sting didn't draw blood, but it warned Vegeta to stop fighting and he did.

"Listen, my prince," Goku whispered. In his grip, Vegeta shuddered and breathed faster, mouth slightly open and head tilted back on his shoulder. "You're not walking away from this. You should've told me, not left me to guess. Why didn't you?"

"Kakarrot--"

"Yes, Kakarrot, your mate. The one who likes to bite."

Vegeta swallowed. His mate's teeth were so close to his throat.

"I asked you a question. Why didn't you tell me?"

"I..."

"Yes?"

Above him, the glass dome shimmered, reflecting all of the inside lights into one glare that blinded him. He closed his eyes, but he could still feel his mate breathing against him. He shook his head as best he could. "I can't--"

His mate's hand tightened his hair, tilting him closer to his teeth. Familiar fangs grazed his skin and he shivered. Goku's grip around his body tightened so much he thought his arms might break.

"Were you just going to wait for me to figure it out?"

"Kakarot, dekette maket." The words came in a whisper, but so close, they sounded like shouting. "Dekette maket teyo."

Goku paused. He hadn't thought he was hurting him, Vegeta had taken a lot more from him than that and come out laughing, but he loosened his grip anyway. "I'm not trying to hurt you," he said. "But I want to know why you tried to keep my child a secret. My child, 'Geta. I can't let you walk away on this one."

Any sounds of the rides and screams under the dome were gone. All they heard was each other's breathing.

"Narokk, ask'ta narokette." Vegeta felt his mate shift underneath him.

"Angry?" Goku closed his eyes and tried to fathom how his prince's mind worked. It only made him more confused. He let go of his mate but made him turn around. On his knees, Vegeta lowered his head and wouldn't meet his eyes. 

Goku sighed. "I'm not angry. You should've told me--oh...oh, you thought being pregnant would make me angry with you?" He put his hands on Vegeta's face and made him look up. "Why would I be angry?"

Nothing. His prince only shrugged and wouldn't look at him.

"I wish I knew how your mind works sometimes," Goku said and smiled. "It's not fair making your idiot try to figure out a prince."

Vegeta couldn't help a short laugh, and he looked into his mate's eyes. Goku brushed his knuckles against Vegeta's throat.

"I'm not angry," he said. "I love you. And I'll love our child."

For a moment Vegeta held still, not saying anything. Then he slowly crept forward and pressed himself against Goku's body, resting his head on the same shoulder he'd been held against. He closed his eyes and breathed out as he felt his mate's arms fold around him. Goku's heart beat just a few inches away and he listened to it, put one hand on Goku's chest to feel its faint vibration.

Now that Goku knew about it, the new ki inside his mate glowed strong enough to feel even when Vegeta wasn't lowering his own. Goku squeezed Vegeta gently. "It'll be okay," he said. "Don't worry. I'll always take care of you." A sharp nip came at his throat and he yelped.

"I don't need taking care of," Vegeta said, licking blood from his teeth.

"You bit me!"

"Kakarrot's not the only one that likes to bite."

Forgetting where they were, Goku put his hands on Vegeta's shoulders and pushed him flat onto the ground. He briefly wondered if his prince would tense up again, but Vegeta only smiled and reached his hands around Goku's neck. The taller Saiyan grinned. "Oh, we'll see who's biting who--"

"Goku, geez! Cut it out before someone sees you!"

Both of them blinked and looked around. When they didn't see anyone, they looked up. Gohan and Piccolo, now in their green and orange costumes, hovered near the top of the dome. Piccolo looked down without shame, but even under his mask, Gohan was obviously blushing.

"Can't you two wait 'till you get home?" Piccolo asked.

Vegeta pushed Goku onto the ground and stood up. "Look who's talking. I'll bet you two got a quickie in the chainging room."

"That's...um, not true," Gohan said. He wondered if they could see his face burning bright pink.

"Behind the restaurant, then?" Vegeta smirked.

"Hey, you stay out of--" Piccolo started.

"That's it." Gohan grabbed his mentor's arm and jerked him one way. "We're going, Great Green Bean."

"Huh? But--"

A green and orange streak was all that was left as Gohan pulled Piccolo towards the DreamLand movie theater. Vegeta laughed and looked down at his mate.

"Well, come on. You don't want to be late, do you?"

As the prince walked away, Goku rolled onto his stomach and watched him for a few seconds. "Five months of mood swings," he said to himself. "Kami, I don't think I'm gonna survive."

*

Although some reporters might have noticed the two fighters in the back strongly resembling the Cell fighters, or the one who looked like the Pansy without his petals, all of the tv cameras focused instead on the two superheroes in front of the flashing cameras. The Great Green Bean stood behind the Great Saiyaman and kept an eye out for screaming girls.

"Are you going to act in the next movie?"

"Turn this way!"

"Have you heard any more from the legion of terror?"

"Turn this way, Great Green Bean, turn this way!"

Smiling, Gohan waved his hands and answered in his deep superhero voice. "No to both, actually. We're fighters, not actors. As for the legion of terror," he glanced quickly at Vegeta, Trunks and his little brother, all standing in the back, "I think they might have learned their lesson that good always triumphs over evil."

The legion of terror frowned and stared back at him. Goten stuck his tongue out, and Trunks and Vegeta both snarled in unison. Gohan cleared his throat and looked back at the reporters for the next question.

One microphone nosed its way ahead of the rest. "Saiyaman, is it true that you and the Great Green Bean are romantically involved?"

Silence. Everyone stopped talking. All they could hear was cameras still flashing. Gohan and Piccolo froze.

"Ah...wha--?" Scenes passed through Gohan's mind, images of what life would be if the entire world knew that he was in love with his wise Namek. The name calling, the anti-gay-hero movement he knew would pop up, the tabloid headlines, the switch from screaming fangirls to screaming fanboys...the catcalls on the street.

Thinking Gohan was at a loss, Piccolo took a deep breath and shook his head. "Where in hell do you--"

"Yes."

The Namek stared at Gohan, his jaw dropping. They looked at each other for a moment, and then Piccolo smiled. Both of them did.

For a moment, the cameras stopped flashing. A couple people coughed. In the audience, Bulma and Yamcha stared at them with open mouths. Goku grinned. And the legion of terror smiled. For a moment, Vegeta felt proud of his mate's son. Across the city, the sound of a thousand female groans reached the Saiyans' sensitive hearing.

Someone started clapping, and the sound woke everyone out of their stupor. The crowd started cheering, and the reporters had to yell to be heard over them. Cameras flashed even faster now, zooming in as Gohan took Piccolo's hand in his. Their capes swirled together as they stood closer. 

"Great Saiyaman, turn this way!"

"Will this influence your next movie?"

"Have you set a date?"

"Great Green Bean, turn this way!"

"Who's on top?"

Gohan looked up at Piccolo, his face lightly tinged purple. When Piccolo saw his lover's grin, though, he grabbed Gohan's shoulders, bent down and forced a rough kiss from him. The crowd cheered louder and the cameras clicked so fast the light from their flash didn't die down. Knowing the entire city was watching, Gohan at first tensed every muscle in his body, but then relaxed so much that Piccolo had to hold him up. When he broke away, Piccolo held him against his chest with one hand and held up the other to the cameras.

"I think that's enough of a story for tonight," he said, and turned to take the boneless Saiyaman into the theater. Of course the cameras zoomed in on their clasped hands.

Bereft of their main story, the reporters descended on the crowd, asking for reactions and commentary. While everyone else was questioned, Vegeta pulled Goku behind the cameras and slipped inside the theater, just behind Bulma, who was also tugging Yamcha with her. They stopped at the open concession stand, everything free for one night. Yamcha leaned on the counter before he noticed Vegeta coming closer with a scowl.

As Yamcha rushed behind Bulma, Trunks and Goten zipped in his spot at the counter and ordered several tubs of popcorn and enough hot dogs to make a pile as big as their heads. Goku noticed and got behind them, eager to order something before they finished everything off.

Ignoring Yamcha for a minute, Bulma stepped close to Vegeta and lowered her voice. "Did you put Gohan up to that?"

"Up to what?"

"That little stunt outside? The coming out, the kiss, everything. Or are you gonna tell me it was Piccolo's idea again?"

"I had nothing to do with it," Vegeta said. "The brat's finally decided to be honest with himself is all."

"Mm." Bulma glanced at Gohan and Piccolo, both walking towards the theater followed by several reporters and celebrities. "Well, he does seem happy."

"I got the food!" Goku said, his arms loaded with popcorn, nachos and hot dogs, with two drinks balanced in his hand. "'Geta, could you give me a hand?"

The prince stared at Goku as if he were insane for suggesting it. "You're so keen on taking care of me, you carry it," he said and walked away.

"Aww..." Goku followed him, trailing popcorn behind himself.

Half an hour later, Goku sat cuddled up with Vegeta in the back of the darkened theater. He had a feeling Vegeta had fallen asleep, since the prince had said nothing about the bad effects or big rubber heads for several minutes now. The last scene featuring Saiyaman defeating the fighters who'd appeared at the Cell battle, one of whom had sported a flame-like hairdo, would normally have drawn at least a sarcastic comment from him. Instead Vegeta snuggled against his shoulder, partially covered by Goku's coat, listening to his mate's heartbeat.

"'Geta?"

"Mmf?" Vegeta cracked one eye and looked up. The movielight shone blue on Goku.

"You asleep?"

"Baka..." He eased off of his mate's shoulder and leaned more against his chest. "Not anymore."

"Oh. I thought you were. You were so quiet."

Vegeta thought about biting Goku, but decided against it. He sighed and closed his eyes again. 

On the screen, a rubber-headed Saiyaman blocked clumsy punches from the Gold Fighter. Every time he landed a hit, a giant Pow! or Boff! popped up for a second. Gohan shook his head and put one gloved hand over his masked face. 

"What's the matter?" Piccolo whispered, trying to fight down a smile.

"I can't believe this," Gohan said. "I'm fighting myself..."

"Pretty Jungian." Piccolo watched Gohan groan and slide down in his seat. "Hey, it could be worse."

"How?"

"Could be Freudian."

"..." Gohan would've answered eventually but noticed something strange on the screen. "Is it me, or is the screen starting to glow?"

Piccolo looked back at the screen. Sure enough, the colors of the action onscreen were starting to turn yellow, gradually fading into a solid gold that grew brighter and brighter. As it got brighter, the theater looked as if the lights had been on. People started to murmur to one another and ask if it was another effect.

"Yes," he said. "It's ki energy, and it's not stopping!"

"Everyone," Gohan said in his superhero voice, flying out of his seat, "clear the theater. It's gonna blow!"

People screamed and rushed the doors. When the exits didn't open immediately, Piccolo blasted them. The audience ran out, eventually leaving no one but several brave reporters, Goku and Vegeta in one corner and Yamcha and Bulma in the other. Chunks of the ceiling came down, and the reporters dove for cover. The couples making out didn't stop.

"Hey!" Piccolo yelled. "Quit making out already!"

Startled, Bulma leaned back and readjusted her gown straps while Yamcha sat straight. "Huh? What? Hey look, we're so good we bring the house down."

Gohan glanced over his shoulder at the pairs. "Man, and I thought the terrible chibis would be the worst ones."

"We're not chibis!" Goten's voice came. There was the sound of Trunks falling on his back and yelping, and then Goten looked over one of the chairs in the very back row, his shirt on backwards. A second later Trunks' head popped up, his hair mussed as he put on his shirt.

"Look out!" Trunks said, pointing at the screen.

As Gohan and Piccolo turned, the screen exploded, sending the pair into the far wall. The Saiyans and demis all flew into the air, waiting for the smoke to clear. Trunks turned and looked at Yamcha. "Get my mom out of here, okay? We'll handle this." Yamcha nodded and scooped up Bulma, flying with her through one of the smoking exits.

"That's weird," Goku said. He frowned and peered into the smoke. "Was it me, or did that ki feel kinda familiar?"

"A little," Gohan said, turning golden under his costume. "But it's different, too. I don't get it."

"That's because you're not thinking," Vegeta said. He blasted the smoke, clearing most of it. "It's not one ki, it's several."

"Who--"

Wisps of smoke disappeared, and through the blasted screen they could see an exploded part of the theater wall, and standing there, wearing white fighting gi's and masks, were seven familiar people. 

Gohan blinked. "Mom?"

"Remember," Krillin said, "just like we practiced."

"Right." Chaotzu nodded and looked up at Tien, whose mask had three eye holes. "Ready?"

"Ready," Tien said, smacking his fist into his open palm. "Time for some payback. Great Saiyaman, prepare yourself! Your 'legion of terror' may have been holding back for you, but we won't!"

"What the hell?" Piccolo asked. He looked back at Goku and Vegeta, then at Goten and Trunks, but all of them shrugged. "Is insanity contagious on this planet?"

"We're not the insane ones," Roshi said. He floated on a nimbus, cane in hand, his mask nearly pushed down by the weight of his Jackie Chun wig. "I know three of you are from different planets, but that gives you no right to influence the boys. They're just chibis!"

Now with their clothes fully on, the demiSaiyans flew in closer. "We're not chibis," Goten said. 

"You're confused is what you are," Roshi said.

"We're not confused!" Trunks said, and stomped his foot. Since they were in the air, though, his foot cracked a chair in half.

"Don't worry, though." Chichi readjusted her mask and smiled. "It's okay, boys. You may be confused, but I haven't given up on you."

"That's right," Krillin said. "We're gonna take you to some of the best doctors we could find. They'll get you back to normal."

"But I am normal!" Gohan yelled. "I'm not gonna change, no matter what."

On the floor, a cameraman sat back in one of the unbroken seats and wiped dust from the camera lens as he turned it on. Behind him, one of the reporters got to her feet and clutched the mike to her face. Gray with dust and her head lightly streaked with blood, she coughed a few times and wobbled beside the camera. "T-T-This is Angela H-H-Harker, from in...in..." she coughed again. "From inside the DreamLand theater. There's b-been an explosion...the legion of terror...but different, there's more of them." The camera zoomed in on the glowing shapes both in the air and where the screen had once been. "I don't know if you can see them...I can't make them out, the smoke's too thick..."

"Saiyaman's facing them," the cameraman said.

"Can you see Green Bean?" she asked. "It looks like there's more than just two in the air..."

Hovering in the thickest part of the smoke, Gohan glanced at the two humans and spotted a few other reporters, unconscious in the debris.

"We shouldn't fight," Gohan said. "There's still people here."

"So?" Vegeta said. "They're too dumb to get out of the way."

"Vegeta!" 

"Reporters, right," 18 said, crossing her arms. She shook her head. "Wouldn't wanna embarrass the Great Saiyaman."

Everyone not wearing white tensed. If it had only been the humans, it would've been no problem, but the androids were a real threat. "Why are you two here?" Gohan asked.

17 shrugged and tilted his head towards his sister. 

"I asked him to come," she said. "Krillin wants me here, and if I'm fighting Saiyans, I want backup a little better than just these humans."

"What the hell is wrong with you people?" Piccolo said. "What do you care what Gohan does?"

"It doesn't even affect you," Vegeta said. "The harpy, maybe."

"Why are you doing this?" Gohan asked. "I don't understand."

"Look at yourself," Roshi said. "Running around in costumes, pretending you're something you're not."

"That's not true," Gohan said. "I became Saiyaman so I could be who I really am."

"You were dating girls before," Krillin said. "I wouldn't be much of a friend if I didn't try to help you."

Tien smacked his fist into his palm. "This isn't just for you. I'm here for payback. I'm gonna beat Freiza's little bitch into the ground!"

A ki blast slammed into his head, sending him crashing through the DreamLand glass dome and off the edge. Chaotzu screamed as he watched his friend disappear and flew after him. Everyone's jaw dropped, even 18's. At first they looked at Vegeta, expecting to see one hand raised. Instead they saw the prince staring at Goku's upright hand, smoke still trailing from his palm. His familiar smile was gone, replaced by his pissed off battle face.

"No," he said. "This isn't play. This isn't a game. You want to threaten my family and my mate, then you deal with me. He's made his choice. The boys love each other. Vegeta is mine. It has nothing to do with you. Go home, leave them alone, and this never happened."

"They're my sons too," Chichi said. "And I'll be damned if I see them perverted. Get 'em!"

As they rose into the air, Goten and Trunks dove towards them, clotheslining Roshi off his cloud. Goten flew up towards the dome's top, but Trunks turned and blasted Krillin on the way up. 

"Dammit," his wife said. "Don't tell me they burned your hair off again."

Krillin rubbed the top of his head, feeling the inch long locks carpeting his scalp. "No, it's still there!"

"Kakarrot, Namek, you take 17," Vegeta said. "The brats can handle the humans."

Without questioning his tactics, Piccolo and the boys focused on their chosen targets. "What about you?" Piccolo asked.

"18's mine."

"You sure?" Goku asked. "You're fighting for two, remember."

Vegeta gave a small smile and put one hand over his stomach. "I can't forget. Not to worry. My strength was lower when we last fought. This time I rearrange her damn parts!"

"'Strength was lower'," Piccolo mumbled to himself. "He'll never actually say he was weaker than anyone." Shaking his head, he flew side by side with Goku, streaking towards 17. When the android flew backwards up toward the glass dome, they followed, firing blasts that made bits of glass shower down on him.

In the theater, only Gohan and Chichi, 18 and Vegeta were left, but each pair didn't notice the other. 18 smiled and crouched, ready to lunge. Vegeta matched her stance.

"Last time we fought, I nearly took you apart," she said. "Think this time'll be any different?"

"Tell me, woman," he said. "Are you fighting because you agree with your husband, or because you thought he'd be killed if you weren't here?"

The smile disappeared. "I just saw Goku blast Tien out of the park."

"That's what happens when you insult a Saiyan's mate."

"So it's true then. You forced yourself on him."

A yell, and then she was dodging a ki blast that left a crater in the floor she'd been standing on. More followed her up and over the crowd of premier goers huddled near the exits. "Idiot!" he yelled. "I forced nothing on him."

"Hit a nerve, huh?" She fired her own blasts, taking out a dome over the people.

Glass rained down on the humans, stopped only inches from them as Yamcha blasted it all away. He took a deep breath and looked around for injuries.

"This is insane," he said, about to join the fight. "They'll end up hitting bystanders."

"Wait," Bulma said, grabbing his arm. "Don't go. You're the only thing between us and flying debris."

Another explosion, this one destroying another wall in the theater, pelted them with brick fragments that Yamcha blasted.

"Dammit, you're right. Can't they evacuate the park any faster?"

Bulma looked at the exit ramps. "I think the power to the lights was hit. They're trying to walk down in the dark."

"Well, you're a genius. Can't you fix it?"

"Um...I don't have any tools, but I guess I can try." She rolled up the sequined sleeves on her gown and opened up a gray box bolted beside the exit doors. Multi-colored wires sparked and fizzled as she gingerly eased them aside.

For a minute, Goku and Piccolo and 17 zoomed overhead, the Namek tossed backwards but the move giving Goku a chance to kick 17 into the pavement. They all dived out of sight.

Left behind in the rubble, the cameraman stumbled around broken chairs and blocks of masonry as he followed the fighters outside. Angela followed after him, limping out of the cloud of smoke and into the cleaner air outside the walls. "What's going on?" she asked. "Can you see them?"

"I've got Great Green Bean and...someone else...fighting...wait, there's two others fighting over there! It's like a second legion of terror," he said. 

*

Left alone in the empty wreckage and vaguely aware of a battle raging around him, Gohan walked close to his mother until they were only a few feet apart. The glow of his ki spotlighted them in the darkened wreckage. "Mom, you have to stop this."

"You're the one who can stop it," she said. "Agree to come home and bring Goten with you, and say you'll try to get better."

"There's nothing to get better from. I love Piccolo. And Goten loves Trunks."

"I knew you'd say that." She looked up at the sky and watched the three battles rage. "That's why I brought them. Once they've finished off Vegeta and Trunks and that green monster, we'll bring you back. Then you'll see why we had to do this."

The word 'monster' stuck in his head. "Did you call you Goten a monster?"

"What? No, that green--" 

"Not Piccolo. Before, when you first saw Goten's tail, did you call him a monster?"

She frowned. "I don't remem--"

"He does. He said you saw it and called him a monster. Your own child."

"He had one of those awful tails," she said, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. "My sweet little Goten, and he had a tail, just like Vegeta and Goku and you."

"Being half Saiyan doesn't make him a--"

"No!" She stood straight and stared at him, her eyes bright and unblinking. "He's human. You're human. Your father may be alien, but you're not. I won't lose you."

"And you won't," Gohan said. "I'll always be your son. So will Goten. You'll always be our mom."

Grinning widely, Chichi grabbed his hands and held them. "Then you'll come back peacefully? You'll be my little Gohan again?"

"I..." He looked back up at Piccolo, still fighting 17 with his father. A ki bolt took out the wall behind them. "I love you, mom, but I can't leave Piccolo."

"Oh, if you really want, you can still train with him," she said. She tightened her grip on his hands. "You'll see, when the doctors are through, you won't even feel a--"

"No." He stepped back, pulling out of her grip. "No doctors. No trying to change me. I love Piccolo--"

"That's not true," she said.

"--Goten loves Trunks--"

"Not true."

"--and dad loves Vegeta."

"No!" She slapped him as hard as she could.

He didn't expect the hit and couldn't react in time. Both of them heard bones crunch as her hand struck his cheek. She cried out and fell to her knees, holding her hand against her chest.

"Mom--" He bent to touch her.

"Stay away from me," she said, shying away. "What are you? You're not human. You're a monster, just like them."

"Mom, I'm not...we're not--"

"No," she whispered. "Don't touch me. Monsters...I've given birth to monsters..."

Paralyzed by her voice, he watched her for several seconds. He shook his head and looked away. She heard the bricks turn under his feet as he turned and flew. She whipped her mask off and put one hand over her face, crying so that her tears slipped between her fingers. 

*

"You see, that's your problem," 18 said, blasting Vegeta again. The prince staggered back a step, blood streaming from a gash in his left arm. "You get so pissed off in battle you act stupid. Didn't like hearing the truth?"

"What truth?" He fired a blast just to force her back and give himself some room. "I've only heard lies."

"I heard you forced yourself on Goku." 18 dived down, smashing her foot into the ground Vegeta had been standing on seconds earlier. "That you're so desperate for action that you're manipulating him."

A gallic gun attack exploded against her, sending her through a corner candy shop. Melted lollipops and licorice coated her face and hair as she stood up in the smoking rubble. She ripped off her mask, leaving a candyless patch around her eyes.

"Then how does that explain the brats and the Namek?" Vegeta landed a few feet in front of her. 

She shrugged. "I don't know and I don't really care. I'm just here to make sure Krillin isn't killed."

"And for that you'd destroy six lives?" Seven, he thought. He spit out a bit of blood. "It didn't occur to you to keep him at home?"

"You know men," she said and smirked and crouched again. "Call 'em short and they go ballistic."

Stones and candy flew up as Vegeta's ki surrounded him and burned bright. Anger, indignation, hurt, all familiar friends, filled his head, fueled by his rocketing energy. Stop her from mocking him, stop them all from insulting him and his mate and his children and...as he powered up, his child's ki joined his.

One hand, still clenched into a fist, touched his stomach. His child's ki sparkled in a small burst, already imitating his own, growing angrier. He looked back at 18, about to throw her next punch. His anger faded and he breathed normally, the hatred and wounded pride stinging less than they had before. A thought hit him, one he'd felt before but never so keenly.

"I'm going to win," he said, more to himself than her.

"You wish." 

A flurry of punches aimed towards his head all missed as he dodged back and forth. I only cared about the fight before, he thought. But I ascended because I grew angry at Kakarrot. I ascended because of my anger, my emotions. When they'd fought Frieza, he'd had nothing left to lose, but Kakarrot had everything. It isn't soft-heartedness, it's...

__

On the battlefield, my feelings are my guide.

He watched 18's face between her punches, cold and purposeful. She started kicking again, and he blocked them as he usually did, but now he blocked them not from himself but from the child inside of him. And the thought of her damaging his child, causing the least amount of pain to him--

His normal clothing burned away as he ascended to the second level, leaving behind his familiar black training suit. Screaming, he grabbed her outstretched arm and yanked, driving her face into his fist. As her head snapped back, he clasped his hands together and doublefisted her down into the concrete. Before she'd finished landing, he dropped like a stone onto her arm. The crack of bone echoed over the sound of pulverized rock. He grabbed one of her ankles and picked her up, then slammed her back into the floor. Her head bounced on the hard surface and blood trickled from the corners of her mouth. One eye was beginning to swell shut. 

As she groaned, her good eye opened and focused on him. Points of light sparkled in her sight, shapes blurred and wavered. She saw the blur of his body come closer and one arm come up.

His hand opened and faced her. She couldn't look away. She didn't look into his face, didn't look for Krillin, didn't look for something to hide behind. The world focused into her sharp breaths and his hand, open and ready to fire. He'd never moved so fast before. Something had changed and she didn't know what, only knew that she wasn't going to see Marron that night. She tried to close her eyes but they wouldn't obey.

And then his hand relaxed and fell to his side. "Go home," he said, his voice tired. "Go home to your daughter."

Feeling like something dark and awful had passed over her, she watched him turn and walk through the wreckage. She didn't challenge him again.

*

"Shouldn't we go help them?" Goten asked.

Across the remains of one of the largest candy shops in DreamLand, Trunks munched on an almond chocolate bar and shrugged. "Nah, I'm sure they're okay. Their ki's all over the place. Besides, if we fly out right now, the reporters might get a good shot, and then mom'll go nuts." He tossed Chaotzu, squirming and dazed, through the air towards Goten.

They both hovered near the top of the last two standing walls, the type storeowners would need extended poles for to reach the displays, each covered in shelves of different kinds of candy. Several feet beneath them, Roshi had given up trying to blast them and instead tried to climb onto his nimbus. Laying half over a chunk of masonry was Krillin, dazed spirals spinning in his eyes.

"I guess you're right." He caught Chaotzu, held him up, then threw him back at Trunks. "Still, I feel like we're missing all the fun."

Trunks caught Chaotzu, who screamed and fired small ki bursts that tingled against their super Saiyan skin. "Maybe, but they're missing all the chocolate."

"True, that." Goten found a box of sticks full of powdered candy. While he caught Chaotzu in one hand, he used the other to pick up one stick. He bit the end off and swallowed all the powder in one go. Then he threw Chaotzu back again.

"Dammit!" Roshi fell on his butt again. As he rubbed the soreness out of it, he swung his cane at the nimbus cloud that refused to let him on. "You rotten, good-for-nothing, useless piece of crap!"

"Gee, no wonder he can't get on," Goten said. 

"Hey, you think we could?" Trunks said. 

"I don't think you could." Goten blinked as his mate frowned. "No, I didn't mean it like that. I mean, you usually can't get on anyway. And we've been tossing Chaotzu around for awhile now. That can't be good."

"Hmm." Trunks hefted Chaotzu up to his face. "Well, clown, you gonna stop pestering us and let us be?"

Chaotzu growled, and his face reddened despite the white look. "The minute I get my hands on you'll I'll rip your--"

"Guess not." Trunks tossed him back to Goten. "We're not hurting him. It's self-defense. I think you could still get on the nimbus."

"You think?" Goten caught Chaotzu and flung him back. "Nimbus!"

The nimbus sailed out of Roshi's reach and floated up beside Goten. With a deep breath, he plopped onto the soft, cool cloud...and didn't sink. He smiled and puttered the cloud over to his mate. "Cool!"

"That's great." Trunks looked around at the mess, Krillin and Roshi on the ground and Chaotzu squirming in one hand. "It's pretty boring here. Wanna go help 'em anyway?"

"What about the reporters?"

"Oh yeah...forgot about them..." His eyes lit up and he reached into his jacket. "I only have the masks and a few capes. I didn't really think we'd get a chance to use 'em."

"Capes?" Goten took the offered items and slipped the mask on. Large enough to cover most of his face, the mask conformed perfectly to his skin. The black cape fit comfortably around his shoulders and covered his clothing. "Cool, it'll be like one legion against the other."

Also masked, Trunks looked back at the small emperor in his hand. He didn't want to hit him again, but he didn't want him on his tail either. Winding his arm like a pitcher, he whirled Chaotzu around and around before flinging him out of the shop, out of the dome and out of sight. A split second later they saw the usual sparkle of light that meant he'd fully blasted off.2

"Great, let's go!" He plopped down in front of Goten and sank straight through. He was so surprised only Goten's hand fisting into his shirt kept him from falling.

"Guess they're right about you." Goten hauled Trunks back up and onto his lap. "You are perverted."

"Pervert!" Roshi yelled, pointing at Trunks. "You're a corrupting influence!"

"Like you can talk, you withered sex fiend." Trunks crossed his arms and scowled at his mate. "And you...you're just as bad as me. You just don't know it. The butterflies haven't told you yet."

Goten grinned and kissed his nose. "See what I meant? You're as bad as your father sometimes."

"Just get us out of here."

With Goten holding Trunks securely in his lap, the pair took off to find Gohan. Before they made it to the theater, though, they spotted Vegeta walking out of the crushed pink and white wreckage of the candy shoppes. His jacket was gone and his shirt torn and bloodied, but if he was walking and 18 was nowhere near...

"Fly this thing lower," Trunks said. 

Goten guided the nimbus down until they pulled even with Vegeta, floating just a few feet from the ground. The prince glanced at them, then shook his head and groaned. "Not those damn masks _again_. Does everyone have some kind of sick fetish about masks?"

"Mmm," Goten said. "That would explain why Trunks can't sit on the nimbus..."

"It's 'cause of the reporters out there--" Trunks started.

"That reporter excuse will only work so far, brat."

"I'm serious, that one woman nearly got pictures of us." Trunks grinned and played his trump card. "Of course if you want mom to see you unmasked on national tv--"

The threat of the woman's anger did the trick. Vegeta caught the mask tossed to him and fit it over his face. Soon he had the cape around his shoulders and the cowl over his head, and unlike the two demi-Saiyans, he seemed swallowed up in the shadows left by all the broken lamps and lights around the park. He flew a few feet into the air, keeping beside the nimbus as they rose over the park for a better view.

Camera flashes sparkled beneath them, and they glanced down at the throng of reporters still at the entrance of the amusement park. 

Closer to the fighting, the female reporter and her faithful camera man huddled under a doorframe, earning serious promotions. "We can still see the Great Green Bean," Angela said, her voice finally steady again. "I think he's got the Pansy with him now...but I don't know who they're fighting. Whoever it is has shown no regard for anyone else, and our heroes have been forced to destroy huge chunks of exploded bricks to keep them from killing bystanders. There's still no quick way out, even though Bulma Briefs herself is repairing the emergency systems. We're all trapped and--oh my God, Green Bean's hand has been shot off!"

In the air, Goku and Piccolo hovered on one side of a demolished souvenir shop, 17 on the other, all three nursing bloody injuries and the Namek trying to regrow his hand. Piccolo chuckled and glanced at his friend. "Feels pretty damn familiar, doesn't it?" he asked. "Except he doesn't have a tail to grab."

"If only I could use some real attacks," Goku said, "but anything stronger and this whole park'll come down."

"We could really use another pair of hands right about now."

"Maybe Gohan--"

"Gohan's got his own mess to deal with," Piccolo said. "He's in no shape to fight."

"And you? Can you still fight?"

His severed hand lay on the ground below them, and his stump dripped profusely, but he nodded. "I think so. But all this pounding isn't doing much but destroying things."

They both stared at 17, who stared right back. "There's gotta be another way," Goku said, "but how can we use our full power without killing everyone?"

"Are you two really that stupid?"

The already cool air seemed to drop several degrees as they looked over their shoulders. In front of the demi-Saiyans on the nimbus, Vegeta floated with his arms crossed and his cloak pulled tight around his body. Most of the lights nearby were dark, leaving him in nothing but moonlight. His face hid in the shadows of his cowl, making him look like death itself. 

"Hey, you won!" Goku said. "I can't believe it!"

"What do you mean, you can't believe it!" Vegeta snapped. "I defeated 18 easily."

Seventeen flinched. 

Floating backwards out of the reach of his mate's hands, Goku looked down at Vegeta's stomach. "She didn't hurt the--"

"No, it's fine." Vegeta hoped Goku wouldn't bring up his pregnancy again, at least not in front of the Namek. He glanced at Piccolo to make sure he didn't suspect anything. "If you two can't defeat this piece of junk, then I will."

"No, wait!"

Just as Vegeta flew forward, Goku grabbed his cloak and yanked him back. Vegeta nearly choked and turned around, taking a punch at him. "What the hell? Let me go!"

"We can't use strong attacks," Goku said. "People could die."

"I mated a fool," Vegeta muttered. "You think too much about strength, you never think about speed."

"Huh--?" Goku suddenly found himself holding a torn edge of Vegeta's cloak, and his prince already blurring in front of 17. A cold chill ran down his spine. For all his mate's bravado and strength, he'd never actually seen him win against anyone, and even though he'd just defeated 18, he was still carrying their child...

The camera on the ground couldn't follow the fight, catching only blurs and streaks of light. In the air, no one had ever seen Vegeta move so quickly, seeming to surround 17 and yet dodge every punch and kick sent his way. His speed meant he sacrificed some of his brute strength, but each blow he landed jarred the android's head and wore him down.

"You couldn't have defeated my sister," 17 said, trying a roundhouse that swept harmlessly through Vegeta's afterimage. "She beat you last time."

"Things change." With the android's confidence shaken, Vegeta used the same move that had sent 18 down, grabbing 17's punch and using his momentum to double the impact of his fist. A quick kick and 17 landed in a crater in the concrete. Dust shot up in a cloud around him, so thick he couldn't see anything. Before he could move aside, Vegeta's boot planted hard in his back and pinned him there.

"I let her go back to her daughter," the prince said, growling out his words. "The only thing keeping me from killing you are the brats watching us." 

"Goku has nothing to do with it?" 17 said. Despite the pain, he smirked.

"Smart ass robot..." Vegeta ground his heel down a few times before backing away. "18's gone, so you might as well take off."

"Didn't wanna fight anyway..." 17 got to his feet, wobbling back and forth. "You won't blast me in the back?"

"If you don't leave now, I will."

As the android left, the dust around Vegeta cleared, leaving him standing in the middle of the crater and giving the reporter her best scoop ever.

"The other torture twin!" she screamed into her microphone. "He's just saved the Great Green Bean and the Pansy!"

Fortunately for his pride, no one could see his face his eyes widened as far as they could and his jaw dropped. He clutched his cloak tighter and looked for an exit, but everything was flattened rubble. Still in the air, the others noticed her for the first time.

"What the--we've been recorded?" Piccolo said.

"It's not true," Vegeta whispered. He wanted to shout, but the shock crippled his voice. "I'm still evil, I am."

"And look," she kept going, "the terror twins on the side of angels!"

"Trunks..." Goten couldn't stop staring at her. "She's looking at us."

"Mom's gonna kill me." Trunks hid his face in Goten's shirt and tried to disappear.

With his usual grin, Goku waved to the camera and gave them a victory sign. Vegeta groaned and flew up to his mate, blocking him from the camera, and smacked his head.

"Bad enough I'll have to listen to the woman rant about this," he swept his arm back over the flattened park, "but now you're on national tv!"

"But 'Geta, so are you."

"Not unmasked, I'm not! Argh!" He grabbed Goku's wrist and yanked him across the sky, followed close by the brats and the Namek. "Fate cursed me with a dumb mate..."

"'Geta..."

*

From his seat on the ruins of the main theater, Gohan leaned back against the wall and listened to his mother cry on the other side. She never said anything through her tears, but though she tried to stop several times, Gohan heard her start crying again and again. He hugged his knees against his chest and stared at the stars. He'd removed his Saiyaman costume and sat in his usual outfit, brown pants and a white long sleeve, but he didn't think to look around for reporters or bystanders who might have noticed him. His eyes started tearing up, and his wet eyelashes made streaks on his glasses that blurred the stars. As he wiped them off on the edge of his shirt, several blurs descended in front of him. He blinked the last tears away and put his glasses back on.

"I guess the fighting's over?" he asked.

Piccolo nodded once. "Yeah. We won."

"Oh. That's good." He stood and looked up at him. "This'll happen again, won't it? Krillin and Roshi and Tien aren't gonna give up..."

"Well, Tien has different reasons," Piccolo said with a glare at Vegeta, who ignored him. "But yeah. As long as they think they can change you, they won't stop."

"But I don't wanna live like that. Them always trying to get me to be straight, I mean. And they'll inevitably get hurt." His mother started to quiet down again, but they all heard her sniffling echo between the ruined walls. "No. I'm ending this today."

Vegeta smirked. "Dibs on Triclops."

"No," Gohan said. "No killing. This started because I tried to hide who I am. Not anymore." He flipped on his Saiyaman costume again and took Piccolo's hand. "Let's go meet the reporters."

Trailing behind the small group, Goten glanced into the theater. "What about mom?"

"It's okay," Trunks said. "It's better if she doesn't have to see us. Someone'll find her and think she got hurt in the first blast."

The yells and screams from the crowd still at the blocked entrance had quieted now that the blasting had stopped, and the humans watched as the Great Saiyaman led his newly increased team out of the dust cloud. Their clothes were torn and singed, they were bruised and a little bloody, but they each walked as if there was nothing left to fear and the atmosphere lightened as the crowd cheered.

"Why are they yelling?" Goten asked.

"'Cause we stopped Roshi an' Krillin and everyone."

"So we're heroes now?" Goten asked.

"Ah, no big deal," Trunks said. "Just means you can blow stuff up and people like you for it."

"Oh." Goten grinned. He loved blowing things up.

Trunks shook his head and leaned against his mate, wondering how he stayed on the nimbus.

On the left of Saiyaman, Goku spotted a bit of movement and glanced at the edge of the shattered dome. "Wow." He watched 18 grab Krillin's shirt and drag him into the sky out of sight. "How'd you do it?"

Vegeta watched her, but seemed to look through her at the sky he'd been staring at before. "I...I haven't had something to lose in a fight before."

"Huh?" Goku scratched his head and looked at his mate, confused by the strange expression on his face. Or what he could see of his face, since the cowl was still down. "We've lost people before. We were just lucky to get them back."

"More than their lives." His head lowered and he shrugged. "I don't know. I still don't understand it. My anger always hurt me before. I learned to ignore my feelings in a fight."

Not pressing for more, Goku put his arm around Vegeta's shoulders and hugged him closer as they walked.

Questions started as soon as they came within earshot and the undamaged cameras zoomed in on the small group as they stopped slightly behind Saiyaman and the Great Green Bean. One reporter in particular, streaked with blood and gray dust, pushed her way through and put her mike out front.

"Saiyaman, has the legion of terror changed forces and joined you?"

The sound of the three villains choking didn't reach her, but they made Gohan grin. Despite everything that had happened, he still had to fight back laughter. "They sure have! I'm pleased to say they've all seen the error of their ways and joined the forces of good."

Almost on instinct, both Goten and Goku grabbed their respective mates before they could fly off. Trunks still managed to pull Goten off the nimbus, but Vegeta didn't fight much to keep his cloak in place. In the back, Yamcha snickered. Bulma's shoulders shook with silent laughter as she finished up the last repairs to the electrical system.

"Saiyman, who was this new enemy? Another legion of terror?"

"In a way." He took a deep breath and stepped closer so everyone could hear him. Across the country, anxious viewers watched a close-up of him as he spoke. "They were a group so strongly opposed to me being with...who I love...that they were willing to endanger hundreds of lives in the hope that they could destroy mine." He held a hand up to stop their questions. "We defeated them, yes, but I think this battle goes farther than just a handful of villains. We have the ability to protect ourselves, to defend our right to love who we want. As the Great Saiyaman, I can live inside my mask and love whoever I want, be who I am, and for awhile that was enough."

Under his cape, he slipped one hand over the watch that would change his costume again. "But it's not enough anymore. I can't live behind a mask forever. It's who I am underneath it that matters, and this fighting will only end when I'm strong enough to be who I am without it. This...this may be the hardest thing I've ever done but..."

With a press of a button, his costume vanished. Camera flashes threatened to burn out as the entire nation saw not Saiyaman but Son Gohan standing in front of them, unmasked and glowing with power.

"My name is Son Gohan. And this is who I am."

He turned and grabbed Piccolo's hand, dipping him down for a long kiss. Bulma chose that moment to flip the lights back on, and the glowing exit tunnel spotlighted the two.

The cheers now made their earlier applause seem tame. Beside them, Goten whooped and tugged his own mask off before grabbing Trunks' mask. The purple haired demi-Saiyan shrieked and tried to turn around, but it was too late. Dozens of photos had been snapped.

Any cameras not turned on those pairs now switched to the Pansy and the shadowy person next to him. Vegeta glanced aside and flipped them off. 

"Aww, don't be like that," Goku said, reaching for the cowl. He yelped and drew his hand back instantly, sucking on his bloodied fingers. "Quit biting me!"

Wiping a bit of blood from his lips, Vegeta snarled. A moment later he was pinned growling against his mate's body in a tight hug.

*

The next week, the picture on the front of Nakayoshi Magazine was not a photo from the cameras but a still frame from one of Angela's cameraman's shots of Son Gohan dipping Piccolo backwards with Goten and Trunks on one side and Goku with his "mysterious partner" on the cover's folded inset. Inside were articles ranging from Son Gohan's life and how coming out had changed how his students treated him ("enrollment is up fifty percent!") to speculation on how Trunks Briefs was juggling life as his mother's corporate assistant, student and supervillain-turned-hero all at once ("grounded doesn't begin to cover it"). 

In-depth coverage and a first hand account by Angela Harker of the damage done to DreamLand included how the newest Saiyaman movie's profits would go to help rebuild, as well as the new Saiyaman coaster that would be the tallest and fastest in the world. An interview covered a typical day in the life of the Great Green Bean and his dietary habits. A selection of the Pansy's favorite recipes followed and an entire section had been devoted to who the mysterious partner (now dubbed the Saiyashadow) could be, including photos of him flipping off the crowd, being snuggled in the Pansy's arms and an earlier picture of him fighting the group now suspected of being the second legion of terror at a local carnival.

In order to appear fair and balanced, the magazine also included an editorial about how superheroes used smoke and mirrors to accomplish their seemingly amazing feats, but sadly Mr. Satan was not an engaging writer and was shunted near the back of the magazine, next to an ad for male enhancement pills.

*

A few months later, Piccolo sat at the base of the waterfall near his home, the spray just light enough to take the edge of the summer heat. He'd snaked his arms around Gohan's waist and held him in his lap, enjoying having him close. 

"Roshi called me again," Gohan said.

"About the nimbus?"

"Yup."

"But you've told him you don't have it."

"I know." Gohan lay his arms over Piccolo's. "But he can't call Goten and Trunks' secretary screens his calls, so he yells at me."

"Mm."

"Krillin called, too."

"More yelling?" Piccolo asked.

"Actually, he apologized and asked me to thank Vegeta for him."

"What? No-nose wants to thank Short-shit?"

"Yeah, whatever Vegeta said to her, it's made her stop training. She's concentrating on raising Marron now." Gohan laughed. "Krillin said he's not bruised all the time anymore."

Piccolo chuckled. "Nice that one of 'em stopped obsessing over what you're doing."

"It's funny. I thought it'd be harder, but it wasn't so bad. Even the ones who didn't approve at first."

"No one can change in one night," Piccolo said. "You just have to be willing to give them time. Everyone's got prejudices in some way. You can't judge them for it."

Gohan smiled at him. "When'd you get so wise?"

"Probably around the same time this little clumsy brat taught me how to be friends."

"'Brat'?" Gohan smacked Piccolo's shoulder and veered just enough to avoid his own smack. "You've been hanging around Vegeta too much."

"He's got some good points, far and few between." He reached up and gently plucked the glasses off Gohan's face. "He occasionally gives some good advice."

"Oh? Like what?"

Piccolo leaned down until his lips brushed Gohan's. "Lemme show you."

*

In the back of a local comic book shop, Goku and Vegeta transmitted quietly in and looked around. There was no one else except a lonely virgin paging through his comic at the cash register. Vegeta nodded to his mate and took him to a set of shelves in the corner. One by one he examined each comic, skimming the pages and setting an occasional one aside.

"What are these?" Goku asked. He stood behind his mate and put his arms around him, lightly touching his mate's distended stomach as he looked over his shoulder. "Why'd you wanna come get them?"

"I wanted to," Vegeta said. "I like some of these."

Realizing it was probably just his mood swings, Goku glanced at the inside of the comic Vegeta was holding. His eyes widened when he saw the two drawn figures in a twisted sexual position. Then his jaw dropped when he saw who they were.

"Oh my God, that's us!" He grabbed another book and looked through it. For half the comic, the Pansy, trapped in an enemy's tight and painful bondage, was forced to play dog for his captors until the Saiyashadow dropped in, destroyed the enemy in one panel, and then merely loosened Pansy's bonds and took his "reward" for freeing him. The bonus story in the back showed the Pansy as a flower growing in the Saiyashadow's backyard, nurtured and taken care of until he was ready to be plucked. "Oh my God..."

"These are the best," Vegeta said, placing that one on a growing stack. "If it's not rated X, it's usually not any fun."

Faintly disturbed by these unauthorized stories, Goku noticed covers including Gohan and Piccolo, Goten and Trunks, Trunks and Piccolo, Goten and Piccolo, Trunks and Goten and Piccolo, Goku and Piccolo, Goku and Trunks, and he wondered why Vegeta was hardly in any of these. 

And then he noticed that the second shelf was devoted exclusively to stories of the Saiyan Shadow. He picked one that looked half-decent. On the cover, Goku stood with a surprisingly accurate Vegeta cradled in his arms. Inside was a more romantic story as the Pansy saved the Saiyashadow from an evil enemy and nursed him back to health. With a warm and fuzzy feeling, Goku flipped the page and found a splash page of the Saiyashadow caught in an enemy's tight and painful bondage until the Pansy came in, killed the enemy in one panel, and proceeded to take his reward for saving him.

"You're right," he said, "these are neat. Do the others know about--"

"No. The woman found these, that's how I know."

*

And late that night, in Bulma's bed, Yamcha lay with his eyes closed while the genius used a reading light clipped over a comic. She giggled as the Pansy and the Saiyashadow danced a ballet.

"And he didn't explode?" Yamcha asked.

"Nope." She turned a page. "He asked where he could get them and then went to find Goku. Aren't pregnant Saiyans weird?"

Yamcha would've said something about pregnant women being weird but held back. Bulma finished her comic and turned off her light, easing under the covers for the night. Several silent minutes went by.

"You're sure it's not contagious?" Yamcha asked. 

"Oh, for heaven's sake...you can't catch gay, Yamcha." Bulma shook her head and turned on her side to face him. "Besides, they're Saiyan."

"Piccolo's not."

"Mm, you have a point. It is a little weird statistically." She looked at him as she mulled that over. "Maybe it's Saiyan hormones. They could affect Nameks. I'd have to try a few experiments to find out. Or maybe it's just their high ki levels." She giggled behind one hand. "In which case, you have nothing to worry about."

"Hey!"

****

The End

NOTES:

1. Hooded swan...let's just say I don't think Goku ever got his snipped. And that's all I'm saying.

2. Anime characters make a little sparkle when they blast off like Chaotzu did. Just ask Team Rocket.


End file.
